Author: Sheri Dean Parmelee

Before you fail read the instructions

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:
I received an email from a student today. Her note made it very clear that she had not read the announcements or the syllabus before posting her first assignment.

While I am the first to agree that a syllabus will probably never make the Best Seller list with Amazon, there is important information in it that could dramatically affect your grade.

First, she did not know any deadlines. (They are in both the syllabus and in the first announcement for the class, which I have repeatedly asked students to read.) Key: Read it before you write an assignment.

Second, she was unaware that there were any length requirements on discussion board postings. (Those instructions are at the end of the question, so she obviously did not scroll down one more line, where she would have located it.) Key: If you do not meet the minimum length requirements, you might not get credit for doing anything. Key: If you always post brief postings, your teacher gets very annoyed for your wasting her time. You obviously wanted credit; you just felt like doing a poor job. She notices and makes note that you are lazy. Guess what happens to lazy students if they need a curve at the end of the semester because they are “that close” to the next grade?

Finally, she did not want to participate in the Free Feedback Thursday where she would receive free (what a surprise) feedback that she could use to improve her paper and end up with a better grade. She didn’t want to work that hard. (One student told me “I never do re-writes.” His final grade reflected that attitude.)

The take-away here is…well, you are in college, what do you think?

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Excluding exclusions for the purpose of exclusion

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Even though I usually blog on Tuesdays and Fridays, this simply could not wait. There is a sale that I absolutely must tell you about.

It is at one of my favorite stores, Banana Republic.  Their merchandise is nicely made and is generally a great price. I shop there several times a year, especially for my sons.

Here’s the deal: when I was walking at the mall today, I noticed a giagantic sign on Banana Republic’s window: 40% off everything! Hey, that sounded good to me, count me in.

Underneath that siren call were the somewhat smaller words “No exclusions for Banana Republic merchandise.” I thought everything in that store was BR merchandise, but who am I to argue? Fine, we’re still good. I’m going to get my purse when my fitness walk is finished and I am so in that store!

Underneath those words, in much smaller font, were the words “some exclusions apply.” Now wait a minute here. Everything is included, including the inclusion of merchandise that BR doesn’t actually own, except for what is not included. Am I following here? Or are we excluding exclusions for the purposes of exclusion? I am not sure what’s happening here, but it doesn’t sound good.

This kinda reminds me of the one-day Macy’s sales that are frequently advertised. The preview day is Friday and the sale is Saturday but it has been my experience when attending preview days that they NEVER ask you to put the merchandise back and return on Saturday. We may have some fuzzy math going here, but that really sounds like a two-day one-day sale there. (If they really wanted to be creative, why not add in a “review day” so that their two-day one-day sale could actually last three days?) Macy’s, I have provided that worthwhile idea completely free of charge. You’re welcome.

Folks, can you help me out here? What is going on with my beloved Banana Republic? Is what I want excluded or included? It would be great to hear from you.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Weird wording to avoid

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

You have all written essays, if you have made it through high school. But what is it with folks who fail to proofread their documents before submitting them? Why do all that work and then drop the ball at the last minute? Case in point:

I recently got assignments in a junior/senior level college class that contained the following sentences:

“When I come to a formation and some soldiers are in one set of uniform but the others are in a different set.” Where are you going with that sentence? What happened? How about writing: “It is difficult when soldiers in a formation are not wearing the same set of uniforms .” Please tell me why that is a problem, unless you are all supposed to wear the same thing at the same time. Matching is nice, especially if it is required.

What about this one: “Then between the UVA and SARC receiving the report.”  Huh? Come again? I’m sorry. I can’t fix it because I have no clue what you were trying to say here, even when I read it in context.

Or: “I would ask the victim if him/she is safe?” Stick to something like “I would ask the victim if he or she was safe.”

Or: “The IT department and myself were speaking over the phone.”  How about: “I was speaking on the phone with the IT department.”

Or: “There are deliveries several times a week from being made different stores that has to be labeled and stored.” Let’s try: “The deliveries, which are received frequently from different stores, must be labeled and stored.”  By the way, you have subject/verb disagreement with “deliveries……was.”

Or: “The employee is not believing of the decisions that are being made.” Let’s go with: “Employees do not trust the decisions being made.”

I hope this helps. By the way, I had to proofread my own blog because I had some typos that the computer did not pick up. A word can be a perfectly good word but it can still be wrong, depending on the context.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Graduating Somma Latte

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog is about how not to get a higher grade. I had a student recently who asked me to curve her grade by a half letter grade, so she could graduate “somma latte.” After I figured out that she meant “summa cum laude,” we were in better shape. She still didn’t get her 1/2 grade level curve, but at least I understood what she was asking for. (I thought she was ordering at Starbucks, for a moment. That sounds like something they would serve, doesn’t it?)

Sadly, she waited until the last week of class to figure out the numbers. She said that, if she got an A in just one more class, she could have honors at graduation. I’m impressed that she was that close to the goal, but the time to figure something like that out is well before the last week of class.

When I turned her down for the curve, she asked for the opportunity to re-take the final exam. She felt she could do much better on it, if she had a second go at the test. Yes, that makes perfect sense. She would have already known what the questions were, and would have had the chance to look up the answers. She did not get that, either.

When it came down to the final numbers, she was still a good student. She could still graduate “cum laude.” There was only one problem. There was no honor graduation for graduate students at that school.

What is your take on this situation? Was she trying to snow me for a higher grade? What do you think she was up to here? I would love to get your input!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Huffy bikes revisited

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Well, I don’t know if Huffy bikes reads blogs but they emailed me yesterday, to offer me a new bike. We are working out the details. Will keep you posted.

This leads me to a very practical idea: It pays to complain. Your letter or phone call of complaint needs to be very pleasant and you should not threaten, but it is possible to get the job done.

Express yourself clearly and state what action you want taken. Make sure that you do not go over-board and do not attack the company or individual personally.

Keep the main thing the main thing. What is wrong? How can they make it right? Do you have anything you can compliment them on sincerely?

For example, I love my Huffy bike. It is pretty and (except for a major defect in the construction) has given me many hours of pleasure as I have ridden the bike in Cocoa Beach (in my condo parking lot, so it didn’t get dirty!).  It is a beautiful baby blue and looks like I just bought it yesterday.

If I hadn’t gotten a flat tire (I wore the tire out, according to my bike guy), I would never have known that danger was lurking nearby (the front end could have snapped off, sending me head-over-heels into whatever was nearby).

When I called the company, I asked to speak to the supervisor of the man I had previously talked to. When she came on the line, I very clearly (and politely) told her what I wanted to have happen (replace the bike).

When she refused, saying that the engineers and lawyers had determined that the bike was safe, I politely asked her for a letter stating that they had decided (without actually examining the bike) that everything was fine AND that they agreed to pay any medical bills that resulted from the “catastrophic failure” of my bike.

She hedged. I insisted nicely. She hedged some more……..I insisted, firmly but politely. She said she would let me know. A few days later, I got a very nice email from someone else at the company, saying that they would replace the bike free of charge.

We are working out the details. I will let you know what happens in a future email. It pays to be nice, firm, and coherent in what you want or need from a business. [Did you notice a theme of politeness here?]

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Getting Huffy with Huffy Bikes

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

A flat bike tire sent me scrambling to my local bike shop in Cocoa Village yesterday. The diagnosis was surprising. Not only had I worn our my back tire, which the bike man said was “impressive,” but I also had a problem that could end up as a “catastrophic failure” with my bike.

Basically, there was a part on my bike that could let loose and send me head-over-heels on my bike. He called Huffy Bikes for me. To no avail. I called Huffy Bikes, also to no avail.  My bike guy, with 20 years of experience in repairing bikes, told me that the bike was unsafe to ride.

Two phone calls from both of us to Huffy later, we were informed that the Huffy lawyers and engineers felt the bike was safe to ride and they would do absolutely nothing to help. Key here is their desire to cover-their-backsides by a series of calls to their lawyers!!!!

I requested a letter stating the bike was safe and that Huffy would pay for any injuries resulting from the “catastrophic failure” and I heard……nothing.

I love riding my bike, which has now been put back together and which now has a new tire. However, I will NEVER buy another bike from Huffy. Please send this posting along to your friends, to warn them of the unsatisfactory service that Huffy provides to their customers.

What Huffy tale of woe would you like to share with others?

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Extra Credit Woes

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

As an instructor, I offer undergraduates the opportunity to earn extra credit throughout the semester. However, that opportunity is dried up two weeks before the end of the term.

Why? Because I am a grading machine at that point in time and I don’t have the time or desire to take a student who has goofed off all semester and add to my own burden when things are winding down.

When is it good to seek extra credit? From the very start of the course, not two days before final grades are due. If I see a student who has worked hard all term, has done every bit of extra credit all semester, I am more likely (but not guaranteed) to look kindly on that individual at final grades time.

When can you get extra credit in graduate school? Never. End of sentence.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Excuseitis and other diseases of college students

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

I recently had a student who had inflammatory excuseitis. She gave excuses, and I became inflamed towards her.

This lady had every excuse in the book to not come to class.  The key here is to remember we are talking about an eight week course.

Week one to week one and a half: She had the flu (Hey, it’s an online course. It’s not like she’s contagious or something. Come to class long enough to let us know that you are still among the living and then do your homework in the bathroom, if need be. We promise not to look.)

Week one and a half to week two and a half: Her kids had the flu and she had to take care of them. (But you told me your kids were in their late teens- can’t they kinda take care of themselves?)

Week two and a half through week three: She had a lot of housework to catch up on. (She and her kids had been sick, as you know, and she had laundry to do.)

Week four: She and her hubby had this cruise planned forever. You can’t expect her to miss it, can you? The tickets were non-refundable. “Non-refundable” means we can’t get our money back, in case you have never been on a cruise.  (You know those kids from week one and a half through week two? Apparently they were okay to leave home alone. And, no, I haven’t ever been on a cruise, but I know what “non-refundable”means.)

Week five: Whew, she was so tired from the cruise and there was laundry to do (because the kids didn’t do it. It’s not going to do itself, you know.) Okay, I will be in class later this week…..maybe.

Week six: Okay, it’s time to get a handle on things here. Dr. Parmelee, I need to make up some work. You know I’ve had some problems this semester, so it would be great if you could waive the late assignment penalty for the last six weeks. I’m still able to make an A in this class, right? My funding requires that I make at least an B or I have to pay them back. That would be a financial hardship for me, would destroy my credit, and would really mess up my life if you don’t cut me a break……

Week seven: I don’t have ANY IDEA how to do the first five assignments. Your instructions are the pits. Oh, by the way, I don’t have my textbook yet because I seem to have forgotten to order it, but it will be here by the end of next week. That’s okay, right?

Week eight: I don’t know how the time slipped away from me but I am ALMOST ready to turn in the second assignment, so you can cut me a break here, right? Is there any extra credit I can do to bring up my GPA? I mean, there’s this really cool paper I wrote for another class and got an A on so I could just turn it in to you. My other professor already marked it up and everything, so you would just need to post the grade. It’s an A, if I didn’t mention it…..

Surely you jest, lady!

Best,

Dr. Parmelee

P.S. I would love to hear your sob story. What’s the best excuse you have ever heard (or told?). Names will be changed to protect the guilty. 🙂

“Et al.” doesn’t mean that Al has et

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

When you are writing a scholarly essay, article, or book, sometimes you will need to cite a document that has more than one author. It can get pretty tiresome to say repeatedly that an article was written by “Smith, Jones, Thomas, George, and Johns.” It doesn’t exactly make your report sing, if you know what I mean.

To alleviate this problem, scholars came up with this wonderful idea to shorten things up substantially by using the Latin words that mean “and others” in their documents. Hence, the term “et al.” was used instead of that boatload of names.

However, as a courtesy, please use all of the names in your first mention of those writers, and only use “Smith et al.” after you have given me all five names the first time you used the reference. That said, if you have six names to mention, then you can correctly say “Smith et al.” in all of your references. We wouldn’t want to have things become too cumbersome here!

Please do not refer to “et al.’s writing,” since this is really weird. That would be like writing “Smith and other’s’ writing.” As you can see, this includes an extra possessive apostrophe and is simply wrong. It would be better expressed as “The writing of Smith et al. is a tribute to the ability to write collaboratively.”

And, no, “et al.” does not mean that a fellow named Al is from the South, where he has already eaten a meal!

If you have any questions about college, please feel free to post a reply to any of my postings and include the topic that you would like to see covered in a future blog.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Please don’t quote Mr. Ibid

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine who to quote in your writing, since the author’s name may be buried somewhere in the article you are reading, but here’s a hint: his or her name is not Mr. or Ms. Ibid. Ever.

When you see the word “ibid” as a reference, what that means in layman’s terms is “I am quoting the same person I just quoted a minute ago, so look at the reference before this one to get that person’s name.”  [This is a very loose translation here; the paraphrase is mine.]

You might have to do a bit of looking back, especially if the article or book you are reading has a whole section where it refers to that same original author. Be persistent here and do not throw in the towel by citing “ibid.” Instead, go backwards with the citations until you run into an actual name. That is the person to cite.

What citation questions have you run into with your own writing? BTW, I am happy to answer questions on topics other than what I have blogged about. Just post your question as a reply and I may turn it into a blog for next time, if it is a subject that others might enjoy hearing about.

Best,

Dr. Sheri