Shopping

Excluding exclusions for the purpose of exclusion

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Even though I usually blog on Tuesdays and Fridays, this simply could not wait. There is a sale that I absolutely must tell you about.

It is at one of my favorite stores, Banana Republic.  Their merchandise is nicely made and is generally a great price. I shop there several times a year, especially for my sons.

Here’s the deal: when I was walking at the mall today, I noticed a giagantic sign on Banana Republic’s window: 40% off everything! Hey, that sounded good to me, count me in.

Underneath that siren call were the somewhat smaller words “No exclusions for Banana Republic merchandise.” I thought everything in that store was BR merchandise, but who am I to argue? Fine, we’re still good. I’m going to get my purse when my fitness walk is finished and I am so in that store!

Underneath those words, in much smaller font, were the words “some exclusions apply.” Now wait a minute here. Everything is included, including the inclusion of merchandise that BR doesn’t actually own, except for what is not included. Am I following here? Or are we excluding exclusions for the purposes of exclusion? I am not sure what’s happening here, but it doesn’t sound good.

This kinda reminds me of the one-day Macy’s sales that are frequently advertised. The preview day is Friday and the sale is Saturday but it has been my experience when attending preview days that they NEVER ask you to put the merchandise back and return on Saturday. We may have some fuzzy math going here, but that really sounds like a two-day one-day sale there. (If they really wanted to be creative, why not add in a “review day” so that their two-day one-day sale could actually last three days?) Macy’s, I have provided that worthwhile idea completely free of charge. You’re welcome.

Folks, can you help me out here? What is going on with my beloved Banana Republic? Is what I want excluded or included? It would be great to hear from you.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

How grocery shopping is like writing essay transitions

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

How in the world are transitions in an essay like grocery shopping???? Believe it or not, they are alike.  Work with me here!

When you go shopping for food, you put a lot of unrelated items in your cart. Maybe you get some bananas, a container of cinnamon, and some nonfat yogurt. While you are pushing them around the store, they are three separate things. After taking them home, however, you can combine them in your blender (with a few other things) and make a wonderful smoothie.

It’s like that with essay transitions. You see, your goal is to take three different thoughts and combine them into one essay. You do that through transitions. You will use four different transitions if you have three main points.

Your first transition will be between the introduction and the first main point. You need to go from getting our interest and telling us what your essay is about in your introduction to the first point; you don’t just start in. That would be like holding up the banana in your cart and declaring that it is a smoothie.

Nope, you have some work to do first. Your introduction has told me what to expect in the following pages, so now it is your job to start the first point by telling me that you are telling me about the first point. If you are a freshman, you might say something such as “First, this is abc because of xyz.” More advanced writers will use a more profound sentence, but this works for newbies.

The next transition is between points one and two. Perhaps you will write “not only do we have point a but we also have point b.” Again, this is very basic. As you become a stronger writer, you will write a more complex sentence (but you will still need to be concise).

You will then write a transition between points two and three and another one between point three and the conclusion. It is transitions that make your essay come together; it is the work of your blender to make the banana, cinnamon, and yogurt work together (along with other ingredients) to make those random purchases into a wonderful drink.

(By the way, in case you haven’t noticed, I have been using transitions throughout this blog posting. I hopefully got your attention by making the outrageous statement that grocery shopping is like writing transitions for essays. Then I talked about your first transition, went onto the next transitions, and then the last transition. That’s how it works!)

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Maneuvering in store parking lots

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

It’s Christmas time and all the nut jobs are working overtime, or so it seems. While many completely sane people (like you and me) are trying to make it through Blood Alley (aka shopping center parking lots) alive, there are some definite things not to do. (Please note that I observed this this afternoon in my local grocery store parking lot, so this news is fresh!)

A lady walked out of the store, pushing one of those little carts you get if you aren’t buying much. She threw caution to the wind by not taking the time to see if anyone was coming; she was in the crosswalk, so it was her right-of-way, right?

She proceeded to almost get hit by two different cars going in opposite directions as she walked boldly (to boldly walk where no woman has gone before- my paraphrase) across the blacktop. She then continued towards her car, walking down the middle of the roadway, ignoring those of us who were following behind her in our cars.

After unloading her groceries, she headed to the cart corral and pushed her empty cart in the direction of the corral……the cart did not make it. As she turned and walked back across the lot (without any regard for the fact that I was in danger of putting out her lights permanently), the cart took off down the slopped lot.

The cart picked up speed as it careened down the lot, narrowly missing several parked cars. The woman did not notice my frantic waving- she must have thought I was just being friendly. The cart, now moving at a very brisk pace, headed right in front of an on-coming car. There was no collision, but there were more parked cars ahead……

By the grace of God and the increased slope of the parking lot, the cart turned towards the one place where it would not hit anything- the drainage ditch. The last I saw of the recalcitrant cart, it was full-speed-ahead for the water retention pond.

The lesson here: watch out what you are doing when you leave the store and make sure that the buggy goes where it should……and I haven’t even told you about the lady who ran two stop signs and a traffic light at the mall today. Perhaps I will, another day.

Best,

Dr. Sheri