Some kids and college

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today I would like to approach the thorny subject of kids and college. Some students I meet would be better off going to trade school than sitting in a college classroom where they don’t want to be.

I know this is shocking news, especially since I teach at three colleges, but the world needs trade school graduates- we need electricians, welders, plumbers, and the like. Case in point: We had a problem with our hot water heater recently. My hubby tried to fix it, but the heating element was fine. He called an electrician who showed up two days later (hey, it was Christmas, so we understood).

What happened? The breaker needed replacing. The electrician sized up the problem, fixed it, and was on his way in 15 minutes. The price tag? Two hundred dollars. That’s not bad, for a guy who never went to college. Instead, trade school taught him what he needed to learn.

Here’s the deal: He was the boss, so he got to keep the money (after expenses). The bottom line: Let your child follow his or her own pathway to success. It might not be what you had hoped and dreamed for, but our electrician loves his work. He shaves the boss every day (or maybe every other day, judging from his looks) and he is very, very good at his job. He also makes good money!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

The importance of watching out for drug interaction

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog may seem a bit unusual for Christmas Day but I wanted to share with you a recent experience with an elderly relative. He lives alone, following the death of his beloved wife two + years ago. He was put on Flomax three months ago, but unknown to his other relatives, he did not tell them that he also started taking a “vitamin” for sleeplessness at the same time.

Sadly, the “vitamin’s” side effects mimicked the side effects for Flomax and he ended up catatonic. Fortunately, his daughter was with him when his problem emerged and she was able to call 911. He recovered completely, after almost two days in the hospital.

The lesson here is: let your family members and your doctors know everything that you take. We wasted valuable diagnostic time by not knowing until day two that he was taking a sleep aid. He could have died, but we are very thankful that, once we realized what the problem was, he could be treated.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Maneuvering in store parking lots

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

It’s Christmas time and all the nut jobs are working overtime, or so it seems. While many completely sane people (like you and me) are trying to make it through Blood Alley (aka shopping center parking lots) alive, there are some definite things not to do. (Please note that I observed this this afternoon in my local grocery store parking lot, so this news is fresh!)

A lady walked out of the store, pushing one of those little carts you get if you aren’t buying much. She threw caution to the wind by not taking the time to see if anyone was coming; she was in the crosswalk, so it was her right-of-way, right?

She proceeded to almost get hit by two different cars going in opposite directions as she walked boldly (to boldly walk where no woman has gone before- my paraphrase) across the blacktop. She then continued towards her car, walking down the middle of the roadway, ignoring those of us who were following behind her in our cars.

After unloading her groceries, she headed to the cart corral and pushed her empty cart in the direction of the corral……the cart did not make it. As she turned and walked back across the lot (without any regard for the fact that I was in danger of putting out her lights permanently), the cart took off down the slopped lot.

The cart picked up speed as it careened down the lot, narrowly missing several parked cars. The woman did not notice my frantic waving- she must have thought I was just being friendly. The cart, now moving at a very brisk pace, headed right in front of an on-coming car. There was no collision, but there were more parked cars ahead……

By the grace of God and the increased slope of the parking lot, the cart turned towards the one place where it would not hit anything- the drainage ditch. The last I saw of the recalcitrant cart, it was full-speed-ahead for the water retention pond.

The lesson here: watch out what you are doing when you leave the store and make sure that the buggy goes where it should……and I haven’t even told you about the lady who ran two stop signs and a traffic light at the mall today. Perhaps I will, another day.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Sending notes to the ill

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

This might be an unexpected blog posting for this time of year, but have you thought about sending notes to folks who are ill?  Your thoughtful comments would mean so much to someone who is hurting.

Here are some tips on how to approach this:

You do not need a fancy, pre-printed card. Food stores (like Safeway, in my neck of the woods) carry blank greeting cards that are available by the packet. I buy some pretty cards in bulk and then send them out as the need arises (it always arises).

Do not tell the other person “I know exactly how you feel.” Obviously, you don’t, but you can share your own personal experience that is similar to what they are facing. Do not make this all about yourself, however.

Mention what the person is experiencing (“I heard that you recently lost your (mother, sister, husband, whoever) and wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers”). You can then tell the individual about your own connection to their grief (“I remember when John walked out, and understand what that feels like….”). Offer assistance, if you wish (“I would love to come over and cook dinner for you on Tuesday night….”) or just let the friend know that you are available (“I am here if you would like to talk about this or if you just want to have a cup of coffee sometime”). Close the note with assurances (“This is a difficult time but …”). Do not tell the person that he or she will laugh about it some day. There might not be any laughing about this for years, especially if John wiped her out financially when he left to go live with that hussy.

This is not something that takes a lot of time, but it can really be an encouragement to the other person. It can also be a blessing in your own life, as you reach out to someone who is going through difficult circumstances right now.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Tips on wrapping presents

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

With the Christmas season upon us, it seemed like a nice idea to offer some tips on wrapping presents.

First, make sure you have scissors, scotch tape (sorry fellows, this is not the place for your beloved duct tape, no matter how tempting that seems!), gift tags (you can buy them in bulk in the Christmas section of most food stores), wrapping paper, and your gift list. Note: If you are trying to keep things financially even between your children, make a list of who is getting what, how much it cost, and if it is tree-ready. Keep the list hidden from your kids, but don’t forget where you put it. Keep your receipts with the list, in case you need to return something. Also note: I keep receipts for all presents because you never know when something will need to go back.

Wrap your presents on an ironing board that  has been set up or on a high counter. This way, you will not hurt your back by leaning over a table or by sitting on the floor to wrap large presents. To avoid stress, do not wait until Christmas eve to wrap your gifts. Write out the gift tag before you wrap the gift, so that you don’t have to unwrap the gift when you are finished because you got distracted and now you can’t remember what is inside.

Wrap big presents first, so that you are sure that you have enough wrapping paper to cover the box. Save the small leftover pieces to wrap smaller gifts and stocking stuffers. Here goes!

Take the sheet of wrapping paper while it is still on the tube, pull some paper out, and place the gift on it, face down. You need to make sure that you have enough paper to go halfway up on each end, so that you can wrap the ends of the present. Tape the paper to one side of the gift. Pull the paper to meet this edge (with a couple of inches of overlap) and carefully cut the paper to fit. Tape this edge over top of the first edge. Fold the sides of the remaining edges up and tape them securely. Flip the present over and add the gift tag and a bow. (Note: If you are traveling, add the bows to the presents when you arrive at your destination or they will be crushed in transit.)

Since you will usually have leftover paper that you don’t want to have unroll, I secure the leftover paper with a rubber band and store the paper for the next time I wrap presents.  If you do this in several sessions, you will find it more enjoyable and less tiring. If you are giving gift cards, it is still nice to put them in a small wrapped box with a bow on top. Baby steps, fellas! Let me know if you have any questions!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Heading into the home stretch!

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

For those of you in college, you are heading into the home stretch- the end of the semester. This is not the time to let your guard down. I have had students who were very, very close to the next highest letter grade, yet who chose to skip the last few days of class.

What does this say to the professor? It tells the instructor that you really don’t care about your education. Unless you have a huge emergency, show up until the bitter end! I once had a class of 17 students, 6 of whom chose to have a family emergency keep them from class on the same day (the final exam). What are the odds of this happening? Slim to none, I would argue. One of the girls admitted later that the entire family had been needed to take Grandma to the hospital. It turned out that Grandma was constipated. Was the girl really needed there for that????? Really?

I had a student recently who has lost several grandparents, all when something was due. Other students have told me that “oh, I wasn’t here the day it was due, so it’s not late.” Yes, it is. The syllabus clearly states that your failure to attend a class does not negate the due date. If you turn something in late, I lower the grade by one letter grade. Yes, I am tough, but your future bosses will be tougher. Get used to it now.

I hope you have a superb ending to the semester. I hope that your grades are stellar and that you are encouraged as you continue the journey of getting a college education. Not everyone goes to college, so you are special. You are a unique person who has a lot to offer; I wish you well.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Finishing the course from a position of strength

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

As my own teaching winds down for the semester, it seemed good to share with you how to finish your courses strong.

First, do the work! Do not make excuses; you have no where to go but with an “incomplete” and teachers don’t like the thought of having one student to check on over the holidays. Get your assignments done and turned in on time. Some instructors (like me) actually lower the grade by one letter if you are tardy with an assignment. Some professors (also like me) do not accept any work after the end of the semester.

Next, make sure that you have understood the assignment correctly. I had a student come into one of my speech classes recently and tell me he didn’t realize that we had a final speech due……that very day! He thought he had to write a paper, which is weird since it is a speech class. We’d only been talking about it, in-depth, for a month. Where had he been? Oh, yes, he’s the student who shows up late, if at all……Other times, he was in class but checked out, mentally.

Contact the professor in time to get a reply, if you have any questions about the assignment. Midnight the night before the assignment is due is NOT the time to email the professor with the question “So what is due tomorrow???” If you email me several days before the due date, I can see that you have waited almost until the last minute, but you still have time to do the work.

Do not wait until the last minute to do an assignment. At that point in time, you are in panic mode and you can’t really hear anything being said because you are so busy thinking “oh, my, what can I do now?” to listen to what you are being told.

Do the work in time to review it before you turn it in.  Always look over the assignment instructions one last time before you submit the assignment, to make sure that you actually did the assignment correctly. (Once I was getting ready to submit a document, only to realize that I had written the wrong paper. Because I still had two days before it was due, I had time to go back and fix it, re-writing it into the required paper.)

Once you have submitted the assignment, do not bug the professor about a quick grade. After speeches yesterday, three different students came up and wanted to know their grades right then. I told them I needed to meditate on the grade before giving it. That was apparently the right thing to say because they all walked away. I don’t meditate on grades, I calculate them in my own office, without distractions like a student standing over me. It’s too easy to make a mistake with someone breathing down my neck.

I hope these tips help you get the best grades ever!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

What is it with banks these days?

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

The question of the day is: what is it with banks these days? I like to chat with tellers and to control my spending, so I deliberately do not have an ATM card. I go to the bank when it is open, for the express purpose of getting cash, making a deposit, and having a pleasant conversation.

A few months back, my bank got rid of its teller lines and made it so I have to go into a tiny office to get my banking done. That is, I go into the little office after I wait in line behind someone who wants to open an account, get a new mortgage, and find out about the latest and greatest trends in banking.

What used to be a few minutes of pleasantries and then going on my way, now takes between 10 and 15 minutes. They tell me to have a seat in the lobby, I guess so that my feet don’t start hurting during the endless wait……where I wait and wait and wait…….

Today, I went into the bank where I have a safe deposit box. I had two questions: are there any larger boxes available and how much do they cost to rent. There were two men in front of me. One of them needed to get his messed up checking account balanced. These things take time.

The other one wasn’t saying what his problem was, but he was settled into the seat very comfortably and had apparently been there for some time (no, no moss was growing up his legs from the potted plants nearby, but he had the glassy-eyed look of boredom that comes upon a person who has been sitting for a while. He also kept shifting his weight in the chair, so I think his bottom was going numb. Can’t be sure about that, though).

After about five minutes and constant reassurances of future service from various employees who were walking by (but who were not actually waiting on someone), the girl behind the desk asked me to take a seat (in a much more stern voice). I explained that I only wanted to ask a couple of questions. Five more minutes went by before she finally said, “Okay, what did you want to know?”

I asked her if they had larger safe deposit boxes available; I had the smallest one and needed a bigger one. She responded “yes.” I asked her how much they rent for, but she said she couldn’t tell me because she had to figure it out (apparently there is a logarithm attached to this task, based on whether or not the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter is aligned with Mars). Translation: sit down lady, and wait your turn.

Forgive me, Father, but I left……only one question answered out of two, and no closer to renting a bigger safe deposit box. So, what is it with banks?

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Writing the dreaded Christmas card letter

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Welcome to December and the month in which we write our lovely annual letter to folks we care about and want to remember at this time of year. Today’s blog is about what to write- or not write- as you compose these weighty tomes.

Please tell me how you and the family are doing. We want to know what you have been doing since we last met.

Please do not tell me the intimate details of your recent surgery. I do not want to know about the cyst or tumor that you had lanced and how the doctor used this great big needle to drain all the pus that was encapsulated therein. Nope, dear friend, this is TMI.

Please do tell me how your kids are doing in school, if they have specific accomplishments.

Please do not tell me that your kids are the smartest, most wonderful, and incredible kids on the face of the earth (this applies to grandchildren, as well).  Yours aren’t. Mine are.

Please tell me what’s on your mind as you go through life, what your hopes and dreams are.

Please do not tell me about the recent political dealings and how you think the country is going to pot (literally) or how the current occupier of the White House is a crook. He may very well be, or not, but let’s set that aside for now. BTW, since you may not know who I voted for, you may insult me or otherwise offend my choice of candidates. You never know.

Please tell me how you grew this past year, and how you are working to make your corner of the world a better place. Share with me how you made Christmas cookies with the kids (or their kids) and got a bath in flour when the bag dropped on the floor. Tell me how you shared your faith with your little ones and how they responded by turning their lives over to Christ.

Please do not tell me about various grumblings regarding unimportant incidents in your life or start moaning and groaning about the guy who cut you off on the beltway or how Black Friday shopping irritated you.

Please tell me how I can pray for you in the coming year. Let me have the blessing of knowing how to prayerfully support you in the coming days.

Please do not sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Preparing for Final Exams

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

This is the time of the semester when final exams take place. You need to be prepared for them, since they can have a profound effect on your final grade for a class.

First, begin preparations the first day of class (too late for some of you for this semester, I know!). Take good notes, making sure that you make a special note of anything the professor seems to dwell on. A well-organized professor who has taught a course numerous times probably has the final exam already written, so he or she will make sure that a particular topic is covered in class, to help you prepare for the test.

Second, make sure that you set aside time to study, really study. Stopping numerous times for a snack, to do the laundry, to text with friends, or talk on the phone is not studying. Set a timer for a specific length of time that you plan on studying and turn it off when you walk away to do something else. While you may insist that you are still studying as you walk over to the refrigerator, your mind is probably on that leftover pumpkin pie, not the subject at hand.

Next, make sure that your study area is well-lit and free from distractions. You may have to go to the library to study, if they have a quiet study area. Some libraries are noisier than staying at home and having your kid brother practicing his saxophone while you work.

Fourth, do not wait till the last minute to study. Cramming a lot of information into your brain over a short period of time is a very bad idea. A friend of mine pulled an all-nighter in college. When she arrived at the exam, she was so tired that she couldn’t remember her name. She left without taking the test.

Finally, make sure that you eat breakfast before the test and that you have had adequate sleep the night before. You cannot do your best if you are struggling to stay awake or have a growling stomach.

Good luck on your finals!

Dr. Sheri