Suddenly Single

Tips on wrapping presents

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

With the Christmas season upon us, it seemed like a nice idea to offer some tips on wrapping presents.

First, make sure you have scissors, scotch tape (sorry fellows, this is not the place for your beloved duct tape, no matter how tempting that seems!), gift tags (you can buy them in bulk in the Christmas section of most food stores), wrapping paper, and your gift list. Note: If you are trying to keep things financially even between your children, make a list of who is getting what, how much it cost, and if it is tree-ready. Keep the list hidden from your kids, but don’t forget where you put it. Keep your receipts with the list, in case you need to return something. Also note: I keep receipts for all presents because you never know when something will need to go back.

Wrap your presents on an ironing board that  has been set up or on a high counter. This way, you will not hurt your back by leaning over a table or by sitting on the floor to wrap large presents. To avoid stress, do not wait until Christmas eve to wrap your gifts. Write out the gift tag before you wrap the gift, so that you don’t have to unwrap the gift when you are finished because you got distracted and now you can’t remember what is inside.

Wrap big presents first, so that you are sure that you have enough wrapping paper to cover the box. Save the small leftover pieces to wrap smaller gifts and stocking stuffers. Here goes!

Take the sheet of wrapping paper while it is still on the tube, pull some paper out, and place the gift on it, face down. You need to make sure that you have enough paper to go halfway up on each end, so that you can wrap the ends of the present. Tape the paper to one side of the gift. Pull the paper to meet this edge (with a couple of inches of overlap) and carefully cut the paper to fit. Tape this edge over top of the first edge. Fold the sides of the remaining edges up and tape them securely. Flip the present over and add the gift tag and a bow. (Note: If you are traveling, add the bows to the presents when you arrive at your destination or they will be crushed in transit.)

Since you will usually have leftover paper that you don’t want to have unroll, I secure the leftover paper with a rubber band and store the paper for the next time I wrap presents.  If you do this in several sessions, you will find it more enjoyable and less tiring. If you are giving gift cards, it is still nice to put them in a small wrapped box with a bow on top. Baby steps, fellas! Let me know if you have any questions!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Finishing the course from a position of strength

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

As my own teaching winds down for the semester, it seemed good to share with you how to finish your courses strong.

First, do the work! Do not make excuses; you have no where to go but with an “incomplete” and teachers don’t like the thought of having one student to check on over the holidays. Get your assignments done and turned in on time. Some instructors (like me) actually lower the grade by one letter if you are tardy with an assignment. Some professors (also like me) do not accept any work after the end of the semester.

Next, make sure that you have understood the assignment correctly. I had a student come into one of my speech classes recently and tell me he didn’t realize that we had a final speech due……that very day! He thought he had to write a paper, which is weird since it is a speech class. We’d only been talking about it, in-depth, for a month. Where had he been? Oh, yes, he’s the student who shows up late, if at all……Other times, he was in class but checked out, mentally.

Contact the professor in time to get a reply, if you have any questions about the assignment. Midnight the night before the assignment is due is NOT the time to email the professor with the question “So what is due tomorrow???” If you email me several days before the due date, I can see that you have waited almost until the last minute, but you still have time to do the work.

Do not wait until the last minute to do an assignment. At that point in time, you are in panic mode and you can’t really hear anything being said because you are so busy thinking “oh, my, what can I do now?” to listen to what you are being told.

Do the work in time to review it before you turn it in.  Always look over the assignment instructions one last time before you submit the assignment, to make sure that you actually did the assignment correctly. (Once I was getting ready to submit a document, only to realize that I had written the wrong paper. Because I still had two days before it was due, I had time to go back and fix it, re-writing it into the required paper.)

Once you have submitted the assignment, do not bug the professor about a quick grade. After speeches yesterday, three different students came up and wanted to know their grades right then. I told them I needed to meditate on the grade before giving it. That was apparently the right thing to say because they all walked away. I don’t meditate on grades, I calculate them in my own office, without distractions like a student standing over me. It’s too easy to make a mistake with someone breathing down my neck.

I hope these tips help you get the best grades ever!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

What is it with banks these days?

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

The question of the day is: what is it with banks these days? I like to chat with tellers and to control my spending, so I deliberately do not have an ATM card. I go to the bank when it is open, for the express purpose of getting cash, making a deposit, and having a pleasant conversation.

A few months back, my bank got rid of its teller lines and made it so I have to go into a tiny office to get my banking done. That is, I go into the little office after I wait in line behind someone who wants to open an account, get a new mortgage, and find out about the latest and greatest trends in banking.

What used to be a few minutes of pleasantries and then going on my way, now takes between 10 and 15 minutes. They tell me to have a seat in the lobby, I guess so that my feet don’t start hurting during the endless wait……where I wait and wait and wait…….

Today, I went into the bank where I have a safe deposit box. I had two questions: are there any larger boxes available and how much do they cost to rent. There were two men in front of me. One of them needed to get his messed up checking account balanced. These things take time.

The other one wasn’t saying what his problem was, but he was settled into the seat very comfortably and had apparently been there for some time (no, no moss was growing up his legs from the potted plants nearby, but he had the glassy-eyed look of boredom that comes upon a person who has been sitting for a while. He also kept shifting his weight in the chair, so I think his bottom was going numb. Can’t be sure about that, though).

After about five minutes and constant reassurances of future service from various employees who were walking by (but who were not actually waiting on someone), the girl behind the desk asked me to take a seat (in a much more stern voice). I explained that I only wanted to ask a couple of questions. Five more minutes went by before she finally said, “Okay, what did you want to know?”

I asked her if they had larger safe deposit boxes available; I had the smallest one and needed a bigger one. She responded “yes.” I asked her how much they rent for, but she said she couldn’t tell me because she had to figure it out (apparently there is a logarithm attached to this task, based on whether or not the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter is aligned with Mars). Translation: sit down lady, and wait your turn.

Forgive me, Father, but I left……only one question answered out of two, and no closer to renting a bigger safe deposit box. So, what is it with banks?

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Writing the dreaded Christmas card letter

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Welcome to December and the month in which we write our lovely annual letter to folks we care about and want to remember at this time of year. Today’s blog is about what to write- or not write- as you compose these weighty tomes.

Please tell me how you and the family are doing. We want to know what you have been doing since we last met.

Please do not tell me the intimate details of your recent surgery. I do not want to know about the cyst or tumor that you had lanced and how the doctor used this great big needle to drain all the pus that was encapsulated therein. Nope, dear friend, this is TMI.

Please do tell me how your kids are doing in school, if they have specific accomplishments.

Please do not tell me that your kids are the smartest, most wonderful, and incredible kids on the face of the earth (this applies to grandchildren, as well).  Yours aren’t. Mine are.

Please tell me what’s on your mind as you go through life, what your hopes and dreams are.

Please do not tell me about the recent political dealings and how you think the country is going to pot (literally) or how the current occupier of the White House is a crook. He may very well be, or not, but let’s set that aside for now. BTW, since you may not know who I voted for, you may insult me or otherwise offend my choice of candidates. You never know.

Please tell me how you grew this past year, and how you are working to make your corner of the world a better place. Share with me how you made Christmas cookies with the kids (or their kids) and got a bath in flour when the bag dropped on the floor. Tell me how you shared your faith with your little ones and how they responded by turning their lives over to Christ.

Please do not tell me about various grumblings regarding unimportant incidents in your life or start moaning and groaning about the guy who cut you off on the beltway or how Black Friday shopping irritated you.

Please tell me how I can pray for you in the coming year. Let me have the blessing of knowing how to prayerfully support you in the coming days.

Please do not sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Preparing for Final Exams

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

This is the time of the semester when final exams take place. You need to be prepared for them, since they can have a profound effect on your final grade for a class.

First, begin preparations the first day of class (too late for some of you for this semester, I know!). Take good notes, making sure that you make a special note of anything the professor seems to dwell on. A well-organized professor who has taught a course numerous times probably has the final exam already written, so he or she will make sure that a particular topic is covered in class, to help you prepare for the test.

Second, make sure that you set aside time to study, really study. Stopping numerous times for a snack, to do the laundry, to text with friends, or talk on the phone is not studying. Set a timer for a specific length of time that you plan on studying and turn it off when you walk away to do something else. While you may insist that you are still studying as you walk over to the refrigerator, your mind is probably on that leftover pumpkin pie, not the subject at hand.

Next, make sure that your study area is well-lit and free from distractions. You may have to go to the library to study, if they have a quiet study area. Some libraries are noisier than staying at home and having your kid brother practicing his saxophone while you work.

Fourth, do not wait till the last minute to study. Cramming a lot of information into your brain over a short period of time is a very bad idea. A friend of mine pulled an all-nighter in college. When she arrived at the exam, she was so tired that she couldn’t remember her name. She left without taking the test.

Finally, make sure that you eat breakfast before the test and that you have had adequate sleep the night before. You cannot do your best if you are struggling to stay awake or have a growling stomach.

Good luck on your finals!

Dr. Sheri

 

How to avoid flunking your online class

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hi everyone:

A student emailed me today, in a panic about failing the writing class I am teaching at a major online college. Here is what I told her about writing an assignment:

Please read all instructions carefully before you begin to write. Please write the document that the instructions call for. Look at each assignment as a separate and distinct document and do not mix them up.

Write one of them at a time, making sure that you have followed the instructions to the last degree before you submit them.  Ask questions as they come up, after you have read the instructions through numerous times.

Do not wait until the last minute to write an assignment because the panic mode clicks in and you cannot think clearly.

I hope this helps you as you navigate the courses you are taking.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

News from your blogger

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog is about following your dreams. Perhaps this does not seem to fit the category of being practical, but I would argue that it does.

Folks sometimes spend a great deal of time and money being trained for a job that they quickly decide they detest. This is very sad; as the old saying goes, “Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life.”

I know a young man who went to school to become a computer developer, only to discover when he got into the job market that he really hated development. He took a leap of faith one day and started his own user-experience company, which he loves. He works very long hours but has a creative job that gives him financial and emotional rewards.

Likewise, I felt the call to become a college instructor 10 years ago, and never looked back in spite of long hours, sometimes-disruptive students, no benefits, and low pay. I love it. Earlier this year, I felt the need to write a book which I eventually called “Suddenly Single: A Practical Guide to Maintaining Your Household When Your Spouse is NLA” (No Longer Available). It was a labor of love which may be paying off. I just got an email from a highly-respected literary agent who believes in the book (and me) and wants to represent me.

Would I have guessed that my future held this? Nope, not even last year. But, by following my dreams, it looks like my dream to be a published author through  Suddenly Single is one step closer!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Decorating your Christmas tree from a former interior decorator

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hi Everyone:

Today’s blog is just for fun. Since many folks will start decorating their tree in the coming weeks, I wanted to jump in with ideas for making your tree look superb.

First, don’t decorate your tree like the stores do theirs. Keep in mind that they want to sell ornaments (or trees or both) and they will therefore put the ornaments on the outside limbs of the tree.

For a more detailed look that is absolutely super, hang your decorations on each limb, starting near the tree’s trunk. Work your way out on each limb, hanging more than one decoration on each limb. I find that the trunk is a great place to hang dear ol’ Aunt Gertie’s favorite ball that you somehow ended up with and any less-than-perfect decorations that you hate to throw away.

By placing ornaments in a variety of depths, you will create a whole new masterpiece that will catch the light (especially if, like me, you like sparkly ornaments) and offer a lot more to see than a bunch of ornaments hung on the outside limbs.

Stay tuned for more Christmas decorating ideas as the season draws near!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

What to do when you ask for a favor from the prof

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

With the end of the semester looming for some of my students, and mid-terms just over for others, it seemed appropriate to make some suggestions regarding asking for favors.

One thing: do not ask for repeated favors. Do not use the circular argument that “you did it last time, so you should do this for me this time.” You may have gotten grace from the instructor the first time you asked but that is no reason to expect it every week.

Do not try to strong arm the professor just because you are bigger than he or she is. The instructor is the boss and you aren’t, even if you work full time for boatloads of money and are used to being in charge. The classroom is one place where you are not running the show. A little humility is a great thing and you need to learn to be flexible.

I keep track of how many favors you ask for in a given semester. If there is a question about possibly curving your final grade, I will look in my grade book and see how many exceptions to rules you requested.

One semester, I had an online student who had excuses for every week of class. She was sick, her kids were ill, her Internet failed, her power went out. Every week, it was something new. When she finally showed up for class on week six of an eight week course, ready to excuse her way through that week, I called her to task. She couldn’t make up any work that was later than two weeks late, and everything she turned in late would be marked down 20%. She dropped the course.

Finally, when an instructor makes an exception for you, be sure to thank him or her. I can not count the number of times I curved a final grade upward for a student who was soooo close to the next higher grade and who had shown remarkable progress during the term, only to have the student walk out of the classroom without a word. I am human; I like to be thanked. It also demonstrates that your parents taught you to be well-mannered.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

 

Basic writing tips for college students

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog is on writing for college. Having taught college for 11 years, there are some tips I would like to share with you.

First, please use commas with introductory words and phrases. An example of an introductory word is seen in my previous sentence. If you are looking for an introductory phrase, I just gave you one in this sentence. These phrases can make your writing interesting but please do not use too many or it becomes tedious. Introductory phrases tell your reader to breathe as he or she reads your sentences and too many breaths lead to hyperventilation!

Next, use commas with the second-to-the-last item in a list of things. Here is an example: birds, planes, and automobiles. Let me give you an example of why this comma is so important. Let’s say that your parents have three million dollars and they want to leave one million to each of their three kids. If they write “we want to leave one million dollars to child A, child B, and child C,” then each child gets one million dollars. But if they say “we want to leave one million dollars to child A, child B and child C, then child A gets a million and B and C split a million. (I guess the dog gets the remaining million.)

Finally for today, please read your documents out loud before you submit them. It is amazing what you may catch. You may find that the sentences that you thought were so lovely do not make sense at all. You may locate sentence fragments, typos, and subject/verb disagreement. If you can catch them, the professor won’t find them for you, and this will result in a higher grade.

Best,

Dr. Sheri