Family

How supportive is your significant other?

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog asks a very important question: How supportive is your significant other as you complete your college education? I was in college when I met my hubby, but, as we got serious, my college education took a back seat to our romance. It took 20 years for me to be able to return to college; that’s a long time to wait!

If you are married, of course, you don’t want to get a divorce over the issue of being in school, but if you have an un-supportive person in your life such as a casual boyfriend or girlfriend, you may wish to rethink your relationship.

Does your significant other encourage your academic pursuits or does that individual look for ways to set up roadblocks? Does the person sigh heavily every time you say you need to study or does that person help with the chores so you can focus on your classes? Does the person make snide comments about the time you are taking away from him or her or does your Sugar Plum say that he or she appreciates your commitment to the future? Does your sweetie seem jealous of your accomplishments in the classroom or does he or she applaud your every success?

These are things to think about and ponder. Is college worth it? You bet it is! The intangible rewards are tremendous, as you become more self-confident, become better organized, increase your interpersonal communication skills, and gain greater self-esteem. The tangible rewards, such as better and more gainful employment, also make the journey you are on worthwhile. You can do this!

I would love to hear how your significant other has helped you on this road. What has he or she done to support your classwork? Let’s share some ideas that might help others. [One thing that I did was to set a timer for how much longer I needed to study. That way, when my hubby wanted to go out to enjoy the day, I could tell him, “I need to study for 30 more minutes; then I can go.” It kept him happy, knowing that there was an end in sight that day and we really could have some time together.]

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Keeping family stories alive and well

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Let me tell you a story. A friend of mine had an uncle and aunt who owned a farm. They loved to make ice cream, so they opened a small store in front of their farm and sold their ice cream, which was made from the milk that their cows produced. Everyone loved the dessert, and business was great.

One day, the uncle learned that he could make a lot more money selling booze from the back of his store. He started his new economic endeavor, to the chagrin of his sister. One night, the store burned down. He could never prove who did it, but it certainly appeared that his sister had put him out of business.  To her dying day, she never confessed…….

Family stories are such fun. I hope you will take the time to chat with your older relatives and find out what interesting experiences they have had. You never know when you might find a bootlegger or two in your family tree!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

The importance of watching out for drug interaction

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog may seem a bit unusual for Christmas Day but I wanted to share with you a recent experience with an elderly relative. He lives alone, following the death of his beloved wife two + years ago. He was put on Flomax three months ago, but unknown to his other relatives, he did not tell them that he also started taking a “vitamin” for sleeplessness at the same time.

Sadly, the “vitamin’s” side effects mimicked the side effects for Flomax and he ended up catatonic. Fortunately, his daughter was with him when his problem emerged and she was able to call 911. He recovered completely, after almost two days in the hospital.

The lesson here is: let your family members and your doctors know everything that you take. We wasted valuable diagnostic time by not knowing until day two that he was taking a sleep aid. He could have died, but we are very thankful that, once we realized what the problem was, he could be treated.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Sending notes to the ill

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

This might be an unexpected blog posting for this time of year, but have you thought about sending notes to folks who are ill?  Your thoughtful comments would mean so much to someone who is hurting.

Here are some tips on how to approach this:

You do not need a fancy, pre-printed card. Food stores (like Safeway, in my neck of the woods) carry blank greeting cards that are available by the packet. I buy some pretty cards in bulk and then send them out as the need arises (it always arises).

Do not tell the other person “I know exactly how you feel.” Obviously, you don’t, but you can share your own personal experience that is similar to what they are facing. Do not make this all about yourself, however.

Mention what the person is experiencing (“I heard that you recently lost your (mother, sister, husband, whoever) and wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers”). You can then tell the individual about your own connection to their grief (“I remember when John walked out, and understand what that feels like….”). Offer assistance, if you wish (“I would love to come over and cook dinner for you on Tuesday night….”) or just let the friend know that you are available (“I am here if you would like to talk about this or if you just want to have a cup of coffee sometime”). Close the note with assurances (“This is a difficult time but …”). Do not tell the person that he or she will laugh about it some day. There might not be any laughing about this for years, especially if John wiped her out financially when he left to go live with that hussy.

This is not something that takes a lot of time, but it can really be an encouragement to the other person. It can also be a blessing in your own life, as you reach out to someone who is going through difficult circumstances right now.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Tips on wrapping presents

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

With the Christmas season upon us, it seemed like a nice idea to offer some tips on wrapping presents.

First, make sure you have scissors, scotch tape (sorry fellows, this is not the place for your beloved duct tape, no matter how tempting that seems!), gift tags (you can buy them in bulk in the Christmas section of most food stores), wrapping paper, and your gift list. Note: If you are trying to keep things financially even between your children, make a list of who is getting what, how much it cost, and if it is tree-ready. Keep the list hidden from your kids, but don’t forget where you put it. Keep your receipts with the list, in case you need to return something. Also note: I keep receipts for all presents because you never know when something will need to go back.

Wrap your presents on an ironing board that  has been set up or on a high counter. This way, you will not hurt your back by leaning over a table or by sitting on the floor to wrap large presents. To avoid stress, do not wait until Christmas eve to wrap your gifts. Write out the gift tag before you wrap the gift, so that you don’t have to unwrap the gift when you are finished because you got distracted and now you can’t remember what is inside.

Wrap big presents first, so that you are sure that you have enough wrapping paper to cover the box. Save the small leftover pieces to wrap smaller gifts and stocking stuffers. Here goes!

Take the sheet of wrapping paper while it is still on the tube, pull some paper out, and place the gift on it, face down. You need to make sure that you have enough paper to go halfway up on each end, so that you can wrap the ends of the present. Tape the paper to one side of the gift. Pull the paper to meet this edge (with a couple of inches of overlap) and carefully cut the paper to fit. Tape this edge over top of the first edge. Fold the sides of the remaining edges up and tape them securely. Flip the present over and add the gift tag and a bow. (Note: If you are traveling, add the bows to the presents when you arrive at your destination or they will be crushed in transit.)

Since you will usually have leftover paper that you don’t want to have unroll, I secure the leftover paper with a rubber band and store the paper for the next time I wrap presents.  If you do this in several sessions, you will find it more enjoyable and less tiring. If you are giving gift cards, it is still nice to put them in a small wrapped box with a bow on top. Baby steps, fellas! Let me know if you have any questions!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Writing the dreaded Christmas card letter

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Welcome to December and the month in which we write our lovely annual letter to folks we care about and want to remember at this time of year. Today’s blog is about what to write- or not write- as you compose these weighty tomes.

Please tell me how you and the family are doing. We want to know what you have been doing since we last met.

Please do not tell me the intimate details of your recent surgery. I do not want to know about the cyst or tumor that you had lanced and how the doctor used this great big needle to drain all the pus that was encapsulated therein. Nope, dear friend, this is TMI.

Please do tell me how your kids are doing in school, if they have specific accomplishments.

Please do not tell me that your kids are the smartest, most wonderful, and incredible kids on the face of the earth (this applies to grandchildren, as well).  Yours aren’t. Mine are.

Please tell me what’s on your mind as you go through life, what your hopes and dreams are.

Please do not tell me about the recent political dealings and how you think the country is going to pot (literally) or how the current occupier of the White House is a crook. He may very well be, or not, but let’s set that aside for now. BTW, since you may not know who I voted for, you may insult me or otherwise offend my choice of candidates. You never know.

Please tell me how you grew this past year, and how you are working to make your corner of the world a better place. Share with me how you made Christmas cookies with the kids (or their kids) and got a bath in flour when the bag dropped on the floor. Tell me how you shared your faith with your little ones and how they responded by turning their lives over to Christ.

Please do not tell me about various grumblings regarding unimportant incidents in your life or start moaning and groaning about the guy who cut you off on the beltway or how Black Friday shopping irritated you.

Please tell me how I can pray for you in the coming year. Let me have the blessing of knowing how to prayerfully support you in the coming days.

Please do not sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

News from your blogger

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog is about following your dreams. Perhaps this does not seem to fit the category of being practical, but I would argue that it does.

Folks sometimes spend a great deal of time and money being trained for a job that they quickly decide they detest. This is very sad; as the old saying goes, “Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life.”

I know a young man who went to school to become a computer developer, only to discover when he got into the job market that he really hated development. He took a leap of faith one day and started his own user-experience company, which he loves. He works very long hours but has a creative job that gives him financial and emotional rewards.

Likewise, I felt the call to become a college instructor 10 years ago, and never looked back in spite of long hours, sometimes-disruptive students, no benefits, and low pay. I love it. Earlier this year, I felt the need to write a book which I eventually called “Suddenly Single: A Practical Guide to Maintaining Your Household When Your Spouse is NLA” (No Longer Available). It was a labor of love which may be paying off. I just got an email from a highly-respected literary agent who believes in the book (and me) and wants to represent me.

Would I have guessed that my future held this? Nope, not even last year. But, by following my dreams, it looks like my dream to be a published author through  Suddenly Single is one step closer!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Decorating your Christmas tree from a former interior decorator

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hi Everyone:

Today’s blog is just for fun. Since many folks will start decorating their tree in the coming weeks, I wanted to jump in with ideas for making your tree look superb.

First, don’t decorate your tree like the stores do theirs. Keep in mind that they want to sell ornaments (or trees or both) and they will therefore put the ornaments on the outside limbs of the tree.

For a more detailed look that is absolutely super, hang your decorations on each limb, starting near the tree’s trunk. Work your way out on each limb, hanging more than one decoration on each limb. I find that the trunk is a great place to hang dear ol’ Aunt Gertie’s favorite ball that you somehow ended up with and any less-than-perfect decorations that you hate to throw away.

By placing ornaments in a variety of depths, you will create a whole new masterpiece that will catch the light (especially if, like me, you like sparkly ornaments) and offer a lot more to see than a bunch of ornaments hung on the outside limbs.

Stay tuned for more Christmas decorating ideas as the season draws near!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Preparing for a hurricane/evacuation

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

With Hurricane Matthew bearing down on the state of Florida even as I type this, it seems appropriate to talk about hurricanes and evacuations. Suddenly Single discusses the need to have nonperishable food and plenty of water on hand, but one thing it does not mention is the need to take food with you, should the need to evacuate arise.

You always plan to take your clothing and personal hygiene items with you to the hotel where you will stay, but do not assume that restaurants will be open. My family just evacuated to Kissimmee yesterday, only to find that the governor had ordered all the restaurants to close, leaving folks without a place to find sustenance. The one food mart in the resort where they stayed was jammed with hungry folks (1,000 people had checked in that afternoon; 150 of them were in front of them in the check-in line). They managed to get some peanut butter, Cheerios, and turkey and cheese before they gave up and went back to their room, but do not assume that food will be abundant. It might not be.

Also, since the gas stations and other bathroom break places might also be closed as you travel, (not wishing to be too indelicate here) you might want to take a jar with you and a towel to shield yourself from the other people in the car. If the roads are packed, you will not want to stop the car and get out to do your necessary work. Just sayin’.

Best,

Sheri