Hello everyone:

Oh, my, some of the wording I have seen in my time as a college professor! Where is spell check when you need it? Or, should I say, were is spiel chex when you kneed it?

Yes, I have seen many things in my time. The old book “Strictly Speaking: Will America be the Death of English?” was one of my favorites as a child, so I suppose there’s not accounting for taste, but, really?

Do we really have college graduates-to-be who will be leaving their college campuses thinking that they right well when they don’t no the difference between were and where, are and our, and their and there? (I left out thee quotation markers on prepose so that you wouldn’t be detracted buy there presents.)

In addition to these wonderful words, my all-thyme favorite was the student who, as a senior in college, thorough ewe should sign a letter “respectively” instead of “respectfully.”

Of course, often times students use a perfectly good word but they don’t put a word together that belongs together, such as “oftentimes.” Another favorite is the word “non-verbal” (aka “non verbal”),” which appears correctly with no hyphen and as one word. You’d think they’d read the headings in the textbook and see that it is spelled “nonverbal.” Even Siri knows how to spell it, and with a British accent, to boot.

So, here I am, at the beginning of a weekend of grading. I wonder what my students will come up with next to make my day and entertain yours. I guess ewe never no.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

One of the biggest and most often-committed crimes against the English language these days is folks who do not know the difference between a possessive noun and a plural noun.

Heavens to Betsy! Some of the folks who commit this noun faux pas are juniors and seniors in college or graduate students. They should have learned this in 6th grade but apparently they were too busy texting to pay attention in class that day. (Oops, now I’m meddling!)

Let’s take it from the top. Here is the possessive form of the word “customer:”

customer’s boat (one customer has a boat)

customers’ boat (two or more customers have one boat)

customers’ boats (two or more customers each have a boat)

The thing they all have in common is that they (the customers) all possess something, hence the possessive apostrophe.

In my parentheses in the last sentence, I showed you the plural form of the word “customer.” Using the word “customers” means that you have more than one customer (the single form of the same word).

While we’re here, let’s talk about how to address our customers (plural) using pronouns. (Yes, this is a slight digression but these mistakes also happen with about the same frequency or even more often that the dilemma of possessive versus plural in the world of recalcitrant nouns).

If you have one customer, you should refer to the person as he or she, depending on your observation (this is becoming increasingly difficult. I understand and feel your pain.) If you don’t know, either by appearance or name if the person is male or female, refer to the person as he or she (or him or her, depending on the context). The sentence would look like this:

If the customer comes in to complain, tell him or her that we will take care of it for him or her. Do NOT say “we will take care of it for them.” You have just split the person in half, making him or her into two people. Ouch!

The way around the he/she or him.her dilemma is to refer to “customers” and then use the word “they.” Here is the example:

If our customers come into complain, tell them that we will take care of it for them. (You better, too, because you won’t have customers very long if they are complaining about you.)

I hope this helps. Do you have a specific problem with English? Make a comment and let me know how I can help you.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

Lately, I have been seeing some very interesting uses of quotation marks in my students’ writing. So, just where do these lovely inventions belong?

Surrounding direct quotes, hopefully. That is their rightful place. Let’s take a look at them for a few moments.

Let’s say this is your sentence: Parmelee (2019) argues that “here is the direct quote” (p. 123). [Note that I am using APA formatting.]

Please notice something here. I did not put the entire sentence in quotation marks because the entire sentence is not the quote. Do not, therefore, write something like this: “Parmelee (2019) argues that the rain in Spain is polluted (p. 123).” Nope. I did not say the words “Parmelee,” “(2019),” or (p. 123).” I only said that “the rain in Spain is polluted.” (I’m not sure that the rain is dirty there but, if you quote a popular song, you have to pay royalties and that can get pretty pricey.)

When you open a quote, you need to close it at some point in time. Recently, a few students started quotes and they did not end….ever….Other students open quotes and keep them going until they get to another quote. That can get pretty confusing pretty fast, folks.

Don’t overuse quotes, either. I had a paper a few days ago that was one huge quote after another. I tallied up the situation. In a huge paragraph, the student had written only two short sentences. The rest of the paragraph, which covered half a page was, you guessed it, quotations. That is academic laziness. Don’t do it. I promise you, the instructor will notice.

Do you have any questions about quotation mark usage? I woudl be happy to share my thoughts. Oh, the very first quote in this blog posting was correct.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

I was looking over some rough drafts recently; they were documents written by folks who are juniors and seniors in college. I was shocked. Let me share some of the issues I found.

First, there is a difference between parts of speech. Some students don’t know a verb from a noun. When I ask them to make sure all of the bullet points within a given the section of a paper begin with the same part of speech, they don’t know an article (a, an, the) from a verb (catch, jump, fly) from a noun (paper, book, couch). If you want to have the same part of speech for all of the bullet points, try looking at endings (having, practicing, doing). What action is happening? That’s the verb. What’s the action being done upon? There’s a good chance that’s the noun.

Second, make sure you have the right form of the word (not the write form of the word, for example). Some students say they proofread before they submit. They have told me that they prove read, poof read, prove reed, or poofread. Nope, they didn’t. Also, when you write that you have an overabundance of something, you do not have “to much.” You have “too much.” Think of it this way: you have an extra “o,” so you have too much.

Third, don’t be wordy, thinking that you will impress me. I have a Ph.D. You can’t impress me by using words that I need a dictionary to understand. This is written flatulence, as one of my colleagues is fond of saying. Students love to use the word “within” when the word “in” is correct. They feel it’s more impressive, I guess. Most of the time, however, it is simply the wrong word. Ninety percent of the time, with the documents my students are composing, “within” is used in error. Heaven forbid!

Finally, where are periods and other punctuation? I know that many people don’t use them when texting, but the assignment is to write a formal essay or business document. Where is your punctuation, my friend? Periods have escaped the essay, commas are either used abundantly (and incorrectly) or there is a dearth of them, and semi-colons do double-duty to replace commas and colons.

Teachers, I would love to hear about your all-time favorite mistake.

Best,

Dr. Sheri