How is your personal consumption of paper going?

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Wow, I commented on a student’s paper recently where the individual was talking about how much paper her office consumed in a day. I asked her, admittedly using less tact than perhaps was called for, if the people in her office really ate paper. Her emailed response was….rather unkind as she explained to me the meaning of the word “consumption.”

She said it meant “to use up a resource.” That’s exactly right, but there is more than one meaning to the word. She obviously didn’t get to the second meaning, which was “to eat something up.” (There are two other meanings, as well, but I won’t bore you with them.)

Furthermore, her sentence didn’t say that the paper consumption of the office was up, she said that they had actually consumed the paper. I corrected her. She didn’t appreciate the correction, to say the least.

So, what’s a student to do? For one thing, be nice to your professors. Next, make sure you are correct before you …launch the grenades …Double check yourself before you send that email. Keep in mind that most of us have an advanced degree (or two) and we do make mistakes from time to time, BUT …respect is very important. I’ve never given someone the benefit of the doubt after he or she wrote me a nasty email.

What do you think? Did she really eat reams of paper each day? How disgusting!

Another thing, while we’re on the topic: the words “new” and “knew” should not be used interchangeably. This was from a different student but the person was in graduate school. Heavens to Betsy!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Fine Lines and Tightrope Walking

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Do you ever feel like there is a very narrow line between your life working well and sheer disaster?

Sometimes I think some of my students experience that, as they sign up for a boatload of classes while working full time, caring for their family, and finding time for themselves and their spouse.

And the thing is, they keep plowing along, not doing their homework and thinking that, some how some way, the Homework Fairy is going to come along and hit them over the head with all of their assignments completed and garnering straight A grades.

Folks, just like business success is not going to drop out of nowhere, the Homework Fairy does not exist and she’s not coming to visit you at the eleventh hour. I promise.

It isn’t going to get better, if you just keep hoping that, somehow, everything will get done, that it will be completed. You are asking for a miracle.

So what do you do? I have some very bright students who realized that the first and second summer sessions overlap by two weeks and that they were going to have double homework during that period, along with full time jobs. How did they handle it? They worked ahead and finished their assignments two week early. This advice is probably too late for you, at this juncture.

(Please note that they also did these assignments very well. Some students turn things in early. They are turning “let’s throw some mud against the wall and hope some of it sticks” quality work. All that does is tick off the instructor. )

By the way, the bright students planned ahead for this extra-early turn in of work. Very cool. Those are the kind of students who receive offers of letter of recommendation from their professors. But I digress.

So, what should you do? If possible (and if you actually are going to do the work), ask your professor for an Incomplete. That will give you three extra weeks to complete the work BUT keep in mind that a much lower grade goes along with turning in the assignments so late. So far, the track record for my students who actually do the work after getting an Incomplete is one in thirteen years. Not very good statistics.

You might consider withdrawing from the class, if it isn’t too late. A “W” on your record is better than an “F” any day.

Finally, you could put your life on hold, take some vacation days, and just get it done. I know folks who have done that and they successfully finished the course. It’s your call, but please make a decision and stick with it.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Twelve Commandments for a Miserable Marriage

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

I knew a fellow who followed these commandments to a “T.” I hope you don’t know anyone like this, but I would advise not following these ideas if you want to be happy:

Always belittle your wife; point out her every flaw so that she is aware of them.

Show no interest in anything she likes to do; open hostility towards her interests is even better.

When she has a deadline, increase her stress levels as much as possible.

Remind your wife constantly that you are her first, and should be her only, priority.

Show no interest in her life before you; her life began when she met you.

When she is not around and others praise her, be sure not to tell her; praising your wife gives her a big head.

Point out the superior traits of other women. If she’s old, praise younger women.

Invade her privacy whenever you can but ignore her as much as possible.

Humiliate her as often as you can.

Only buy expensive flowers for her when the largest number of people will see them and praise you.

Contradict her whenever possible.

Explain everything; remind her that she’s really very stupid.  

Best,

Dr. Sheri

You Don’t Always Get What You Want

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Here you are. You are a senior in college. You have carefully set up your class schedule so that you can get the professors you want. You have the semester all figured out. Until you don’t.

What happened? Well, the professors are told what classes they will be teaching. They start work on preparing the classes during their off time and then, suddenly, they are shifted to another set of classes.

It’s not our fault. We are team players and we do what the Powers That Be want. We need to support the needs of our department, even if that throws a monkey wrench in our plans. And yours. It is our job to teach our students but it is also important that we support the folks who make the decisions.

So where does that leave you? If you really do have a choice about what classes you take for your Degree Completion Program, then shift some classes around so that you still get that favorite professor. (It’s so flattering to have a student come and beg to be in your class, that I will oversubscribe a class just to help a student out.)

Keep in mind that lots of folks drop during the drop/add period, so you may still be able to get into that special professor’s class, even without begging!

Hang in there. If you still can’t get into the teacher’s class, stop by and chat with him or her during office hours. You might even grab lunch with him or her. You can still be around that person, you just need to be creative.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Building a Foundation for Your Writing

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

I had someone from the south ask me how basements are built. She had lived most of her life in a state where no one had a basement due to a high water table and she simply did not know.

I explained how the dirt movers come in and hollow out what looks like a deep pool and then how concrete is poured over rebar and how footings are also poured into place. The house is then constructed over the basement. The house is not built and then the basement dug out. Nope, you have to start with a good foundation for the cellar and you go from there.

Writing, especially good writing, is like building a basement. You take the usual rules of punctuation and grammar as your basement and then layer on the house till you get the height you desire. If you have poor grammar or punctuation that is lacking, it is like building your house and then trying to scoop out the basement.

With that method, you will undermine the structure of the house, much like you would undermine the quality of your writing.

That’s why it is so vital that you pay attention to the rules of construction. In this case, you are focusing on the mechanical issues. This will, in turn, produce a house with a strong foundation and a written document that will get a better grade.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Happy Father’s Day

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Parents are frequently our unsung heroes. I thought of this as we were celebrating Father’s Day today. Happily, my father is still alive. I am excited for the opportunity to spend time with him in the autumn of his life.

I share memories that he no longer has, like how we used to drive our car on Cocoa Beach and take a picnic dinner onto the sand dunes. We would pick Dad up from his job at the Kennedy Space Center and swim in the waves until Mom had dinner ready. We would eat the meal sitting on the dropped-down tailgate of our station wagon. Sure, dinner sometimes got a little sandy but that was part of the fun.

One thing I have been doing for my grandchildren is to send them letters about their father’s growing up days. I share memories that I have and am creating a written history of his life. Many of the memories I have were of years when he was so young that he doesn’t remember them.

What did you do when you were a child? Do you remember special traditions? These are all things worth the time to write down, whether you are creating memories for your grandchildren, re-visiting your own childhood, or introducing yourself to your new spouse or significant other.

It is fun to think back on earlier years, even as we are moving forward. Do you remember times when there weren’t any cellphones (or even answerphones) and, if you weren’t home, folks simply had to wait to talk to you? Do you go back to the days of party lines, where noisy neighbors would listen in to your conversations? (I think we still have them in some ways, as people chat loudly on their cellphones as they walk in public places. We only hear their half of the conversation but can usually piece together what’s happening. They are our modern version of party lines!)

What special memories do you have of growing up on this Father’s Day Sunday?

Best,

Dr. Sheri

A Little Appreciation Goes a Long Way

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Here’s a real surprise: teachers are human, too! There’s nothing sweeter than to have a student send you a note or an email during or after the course, one that thanks you for instructing him or her for the past eight or sixteen weeks.

I had a student recently who thanked me after every class, not in an Eddie Haskell kind of way (this is a cultural reference to Leave it to Beaver from the late 1950s) but sincerely and from the heart. It was so sweet of him. I know he wasn’t currying favor, since he was at the very top of the class. He was just very thoughtful and appreciative.

I have a bunch of student thank you notes that I will never toss out. They will go with me to my grave, if that’s possible (sons of mine, pay attention here!). I put them on my wall, where I can see them every day.

Perhaps you have a special teacher who has gone the extra mile. Thank him or her for it. It doesn’t need to be a fancy card. A couple of the most precious notes I have are on notebook paper pulled from the student’s binder.

What has a teacher done for you lately? How about in the long-ago past? I will never forget Mrs. Mary Williams (aka Mother Mary) from my high school down in Florida so many years ago. She spent countless hours correcting our essays and she made me into the writer I am today. (My essays became weighty tomes due to volume, not depth or insight. They frequently looked like they were hemorrhaging, they had so much red ink on them.)

She died a long time ago, but I still remember her fondly. She used to dramatize the literature we studied, making it come alive in a wonderful way. I cannot read Catcher in the Rye, The Scarlet Letter, or Ethan Fromm without thinking about her characterization of those now-icons.

Who has been an inspiration to you? Please let that teacher know.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Scheduling Your Life to Fit in Schoolwork

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Recently, a student told me that she hadn’t done her homework because she didn’t know there would be so much to do when she signed up for the course. Looking at the syllabus ahead of time might have helped, but she didn’t do that.

She told me that she worked full time, had a husband, a few kids, and had to have some time for herself. In addition to that, her husband’s birthday fell on the due date of a major assignment and she needed to make him a very nice birthday dinner. She was sorry but her hubby took center stage ahead of any silly assignment. (Okay, so she didn’t call it “silly” but she might as well have done so. The bottom line was that the assignment was not getting done any time soon.)

When we talked about it, I said that I was always surprised by people who waited until Christmas Eve to start their Christmas shopping. Didn’t they know it was coming?

It was at that point that I shared how I made it through two degrees at the same time, kept my house reasonably clean, cooked for my family, was active in my church, and home-schooled my younger son.

It was by being organized. I purchased a month-at-a-glance calendar and, as soon as I got my syllabus from an instructor, I color-coded each class’s homework assignments. Major assignments were highlighted in bright yellow. When you are taking 21+ credit hours every semester, it is the only way to fly.

Everything went onto that calendar, including date nights with my husband, church activities, and family-related stuff. Dental and doctor appointments were also entered, so that there were no surprises. (And I could take my hubby out for his birthday without guilt because I worked ahead, to allow for the time off.)

To this day, I still keep a similar calendar, though now my notes are from the other side of the computer screen, as I note assignments that my students have coming up.

In 13 years of higher education, I personally only missed one assignment (I forgot to enter it on the calendar. My professor was so shocked that I turned the essay in one day late that he forgave me for being tardy. He knew it was completely out of character).

Yes, a standard calendar is old-fashioned, but it never crashes, never requires Internet access, and never has low batteries. I suggest you buy one- I get mine at Staples every year. No, they didn’t pay me to say this.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Just because You’ve Always Written Something That Way Doesn’t Mean Your Writing’s Right

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

I had a student recently who insisted that she had always written her APA formatted essays with the period after the quote and left nothing at the end of the sentence. “Well, bully for Terry Elizabeth,” as my mother always said.

Folks, that is soooo 5th edition. That would be fine, if we still graded from the 5th edition of the APA Style Manual. But we don’t. I don’t. I tell everyone at the start of the term that I will be grading from the 6th edition and will count them down if they persist in ignoring that fact.

What if you “always” misspelled the words “our” and “are” and “then” and “than?” That wouldn’t make it any more correct than if you use the wrong style manual. It would just be wrong. You would lose points. Why be stubborn about this? You won’t win.

To finish our brief time together today, let me explain about the very old-fashioned expression I used earlier in this blog, “Well, bully for Terry Elizabeth.” “Bully” used to mean the equivalent of “knock yourself out” or “big deal, who cares.” Terry Elizabeth was a young gal whose pre-school birthday was being honored at a lavish party. Her mother went on and on about all of her little girl’s accomplishments, ad nauseam.

My grandmother, who was there with my mother, was about fed up with the bragging that the woman was doing on behalf of this little girl whose major accomplishments to date had been minuscule. A woman next to my grandmother turned to her and said, “Well, bully for Terry Elizabeth.” It stuck. Whenever my family wants to acknowledge something that is completely unremarkable, we say, “Well, bully for Terry Elizabeth.”

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Being Redundant Means Saying the Same Things Over and Over

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Have you ever known someone who said the same things over and over again, repeatedly? I occasionally get students who do and it is a real snoozer.

It’s almost as bad as the folks who love to say “like” without end. I was seated next to some very sweet young ladies on a plane recently and they had a conversation that went something like this:

“He like told me like that like he like wanted to like go out to the like movies for like our date like on Saturday night, like.”

“Well, like, what like did you like say?”

“Well, I like told him like that like I didn’t want to like see that like movie because like I’d like already like seen it.”

“What did he like say?” [What??? Only one “like?”]

“Oh, he….” And then they noticed I was listening. Their conversation was volume controlled so that I like couldn’t like hear them. Like it or not.

Please, folks, when you are writing an essay, make sure you state your points clearly and concisely, without belaboring the issue. Okay, like?

Best,

Dr. Sheri