Hello everyone:

For each of my online students, a hearty “hello” from your professor. Another hearty “Please pay attention to the feedback I spent hours giving you” request. It is very discouraging to spend hours on a beautiful afternoon typing feedback into your document, only to realize that you have totally ignored it.

Recently, I had a multi-complaining, last-minute Louie who resubmitted a document only a few minutes after I took it apart and offered suggestions on how to fix his sentence fragments and incorrect punctuation. Let’s go over a few things that can really jinx your document and thereby lower your grade.

The almighty sentence fragment sentence fragment is enjoying a great comeback these days. These are sentences that are missing subjects or verbs or something else that would make the sentence an actual sentence. Here are some examples:

Which means that I can. (Friend, this belongs to the sentence before it. It cannot stand alone, nor should it have to.)

In addition to that. (To what? You have left me hanging here. From the looks of things, these words belong to the next sentence.)

Incorrect punctuation is also quite popular. Students sometimes confuse commas and semi-colons, so let’s go over them. When you have an introductory phrase, you use a comma, such as in this sentence. A parenthetical expression, which is a word or words added to a sentence to add clarity, needs two commas. I have just given you an example of a parenthetical expression in my previous sentence.

Do not sprinkle your sentences with liberal amounts of semi-colons. Students frequently utilize a semi-colon where a comma is needed, thinking that the following sentence is correct: The rain; which falls in Spain; lands mostly on the plain. It is not right. Run as fast as you can away from the need to use semi-colons incorrectly.

Do not put commas in between the subject and the verb. A lot of students put commas after the word “is,” such as “The reason is, because I said so.” Nope. That sentence isn’t even written very well, and it does not need a comma at all.

Back to Louie before we end this blog posting. Louie received about 20 minutes of my time. The only thing he changed correctly on his document was putting his name on it. The rest of the feedback he either ignored or he misread in his eagerness to resubmit his document for grading. Too bad. A little more time might have resulted in his getting a better grade…..

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

Welcome to the bane of many a professor’s existence: sentence fragments. Oh, my, if I had. A nickel for every. Sentence fragment that. Abounds in many. Students’ work. I. Would be. Wealthy.

Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t be dripping in diamonds or frolicking in fur, but I could, in the very least, pay a visit to Cracker Barrel.

There are times when the fragment really appears to be a part of the sentence that went before or after it, but there are times when it seems to materialize on its own. So how do you avoid writing them? Please proofread your document. Read it out loud and you will be amazed at the number of mistakes you will catch before the professor lays an eye on your assignment.

Allow me a slight digression here. I am bent over double in laughter when a student tells me that he or she doesn’t need to “poof reed,” “prove reed,” or the like. They have, therein, proven the fact that they really do need to take the extra time to have a second look. Please humor me here.

Yes, I understand that auto-correct can do in your best intentions. When texting with friends, “that blasted autocorrect” (as I call it), can make it necessary to correct and re-correct your document, but please take the few extra seconds to perfect your writing.

If nothing else, your rich professor will have to pay his or her own way to Cracker Barrel! Have a great day!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

There are times when I simply do not have a clue what someone is writing about. Let me give you a few examples. Now, stay local and stay with me here. This is gonna get messy.

Here is a sentence from an assignment I read today:

This detail would have given lucidity as to why their project was victorious.

Come again? Huh? What in the world do you mean by that? Are you saying that, if someone had included some tidbit of information, they would have succeeded in what they were trying to do? It seems that is your point but I am really not too sure.

Here’s another one: The authors accentuated the purpose of the congealed report. Do say! Or, should I say, I have no idea what you are talking about. I first thought you said “accented the purpose,” but, no, that was definitely an “accentuated” there.

Or another line: Like most social phenomena the nucleus of some conflicts is at the intersection of various perspectives, beliefs, and encounters. Could you please help me out by including a comma with the introductory phrase “like most social phenomena??

If you have the slightest idea of what these students were trying to elucidate through this completely obtuse language, please let me know. Do people really talk (or, in this case, write) like this? Apparently so.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hi everyone:

Here we go, off into another semester. I hope you had a good break and are ready to jump in with both feet. Start strong at the beginning and you have a better chance of completing your course successfully.

Sometimes students get off o the wrong foot through the use of improper grammar. The Comma Cop, the Grammar Guru, is always on patrol and this break was no exception.

I was watching my beloved HGTV during the break and saw an episode of Property Brothers, Forever Home when one of the teenagers gave a gift to the brothers at the end of the episode. She shyly looked at Jonathan and said, “Me and her made it for you.”

Nails on a chalkboard. Here’s the deal, folks. Always think of others first and put them first (and yourself last) in a sentence. This little Miss also used a possessive pronoun (her) where she meant to use a regular, run-of-the-mill pronoun. What she should have said is, “She and I made it for you.”

Here’s the test: Separate the one sentence into two sentences and give it a try. “Me and her made it for you” would, therefore, read, “Me made it for you. Her made it for you.” Nope. Wrong. Buzzer sounds.

Here’s the right way to write the three sentences: “She made it for you. I made it for you. She and I made it for you.” Home run. Out of the ballpark.

Here’s a Just-For-Fun test: What do you call the cardboard sleeve that goes around a take-out coffee to keep you from burning your hands due to the heat of the cup? The sleeve is called a “Zack.”

What do you call something that is slightly off kilter? Cattywampus. My treadmill, for example, was put back together wrong and was cattywampus when I ran on it, causing me to become injured. (This is a true example.)

What do you call it when something stimulates you (such as a great professor whose lectures interest you greatly)? Titillation. Isn’t that a great word?

I hope you enjoyed this blog posting. Welcome back to school!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

Just a couple of quick comments today on the topic of following directions. Please do it. Okay, we’re done.

All right, not really (with regards to being done, not regarding following directions). I have a group of college seniors at one of my colleges where I am an instructor and these dear folks really struggle with following directions.

Of course, part of the problem is that they don’t read the announcements, so they have no idea when I have posted clarification of an assignment. For example, the current week requires that they submit a rough draft of their final project BUT this rough draft only needs eight lines of text, and is merely so I can tell if they understand what has to be in the final project.

The components are listed in the instructions, so this whole rough draft will take them less than two minutes to do. But they just scanned the instructions; they, therefore, do not know for sure what the instructions said. So what do I get?

I get executive summaries that are posing as the entire project. They submit memos (a letter is a requirement, but the memo writing was so three weeks ago!). Sometimes they will give me a two-page Table of Contents. Let me explain that last comment- the Table of Contents will indicate that the entire project will be two pages in length. (The required length is 2,000 words, so there is no way that will fit on two pages, unless the font is so small that I cannot read it!)

They also love to turn in memos. They will list the “Letter of Transmittal” on their Table of Contents and then write a memo. Please note that, weeks ago, I gave them an example of the modified block letter that is one of those eight components. Folks, there is a difference between a memo and a letter. However, they will also not read my feedback so that memo-that-should-be-a-letter will show up in the final document. And it will be wrong.

The amazing thing is that these folks are frequently excellent writers, but their lack of attention to detail will cost them points- a lot of them. So, you’d better watch out. Failure to follow instructions can be expensive.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hi everyone:

One of the biggest issues some student have, including master’s students, is when to use a semi-colon or a colon. Here’s the scoop.

If you have two complete sentences (also known as independent phrases), you can put them together into one sentence using a semi-colon. Do not stick the word “and” in there- just combine the two sentences and put a semi-colon in between them. It could not be more simple.

Do not join two independent clauses with a comma; that is wrong (this sentence, however, is right). If you want to use the word “and,” then do not use a semi-colon. An example of all of these comments is seen below:

I want to go out to dinner. I would like to see a movie afterwards.

I want to go out to dinner; I would like to see a movie afterwards.

I want to go out to dinner, and I would like to see a movie afterwards.

All of these sentences are correct. Using a semi-colons correctly will impress the professor; using them incorrectly will irritate her.

So when do you use a colon? You can use them for lists of things, such as the following:

We are taking the following items with us: tents, sleeping bags, and toiletries. Please note that I did not capitalize the word after the colon, It is not a proper noun. An exception to this rule is if you are using a quotation immediately after the complete sentence in which you placed the colon. Here is an example:

The pastor announced: “Everyone, please come into the the gym after dinner.”

Hope this helps!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

I was perusing some assignments this week and discovered some very interesting things: some students believe that there is no difference between some very common words. Let me be more specific.

The word “or” cannot substitute for “our” or “are.” Neither can the word “our” be a successful stand in for “are.” Folks, it doesn’t matter how southern your accent is, that substitution will not work to your advantage on a college-level paper. “Are” doesn’t work for “hour,” either.

You cannot tell me something is “not in vein” when you meant that it is “not in vain.” It’s been done. It doesn’t work so well. Not at all, truth be known. The former means you have put something into your body; the second one is right on the money, if you tried to do something and it didn’t work.

“Alright” isn’t. It should be “all right.” It is always written as two words, when it is done correctly. Do not cite Mr. Ibid in your papers, either. He belongs in footnotes and on reference pages, as the sexless “Ibid.” Do not place him in sentences (Mr. Ibid states that…..) or as part of an in-text citation (Ibid, 2019, p. 123). Neither is correct. Yes, both have made an appearance in papers I have gotten.

Watch out for et al., which I have seen in many incarnations (ets all, et al’s, and eats all, to name a few). A couple of those belong at a pie-eating contest, not in your paper.

“Oftentimes” is a lovely word but it is not two lovely words. Every week, someone writes it as two. Please don’t do that. More recently, scholars have used the word “often” in place of the more archaic “oftentimes.” I find students frequently want to impress me with their vocabulary and use the longer word. I’m okay with “oftentimes,” finding it charming, but I appreciate students who use it correctly.

“Within” and “in” do not mean the same thing. Just ask Siri. The longer of the two words is used to impress. It is always used when the student means “in” but “in” doesn’t sound half as fancy. Don’t impress me; be accurate.

One final note: You have been faithful to read this to the end, so I will reward you with a joke I heard on the radio this morning. The story is told regarding online dating services. The gal said, “When a fellow says he lives in a gated community, beware. He could mean he lives in a prison.”

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Hello everyone:

Introductory phrases can be wonderful. Or not. They can, if used to excess, muddy the water, bore your reader, and add tedium to your writing. What’s a person to do? Get rid of as many as you can.

Let’s start with “what is an introductory phrase?” It is, according to Siri, “an introduction to a subject or a topic; basis or preliminary.” It is stuck on the front of a sentence. Usually students who use them fail to use a comma afterwards, which muddies the literary waters. Here are some examples:

As you just read… should be written: As you just read,…

Most of the time… should be written: Most of the time,…

Since they are willing to pay scalper prices… should be written: since they are willing to pay scalper prices,…

In the beginning…. should be written: In the beginning,…

Conversely….. should be written: Conversely,…

And my all-time favorites: Firstly, secondly, lastly. Dump these three examples from your writing. You may, however, use first, second, third (or finally).

The sad thing is that the examples above are fine, but the student did not use a comma to separate the introductory phrase from the rest of the sentence. Occasionally, the student will realize that he or she needs a comma, but will put it in the wrong place.

Popular positions (which are incorrect, for the record) are between the subject and the verb in a sentence. Please note that, in the examples above, these are prepositional phrases. We have not yet gotten to the subject or verb.

Let’s move the introductory phrases somewhere else in the sentence, as follows:

The rain in Spain, as you just read, falls mainly on the plain. This is what happens, most of the time. We got good tickets because they were willing to pay scalper prices. It looked like a good deal, in the beginning. They told us, conversely, that it wasn’t.

I have now eliminated all of the introductory phrases and, in two cases, given you a parenthetical expression by moving the phrase to the middle of the sentence (where you now need two commas).

Best,

Dr. Sheri