Author: Sheri Dean Parmelee

If You Want a Good Grade, Don’t Do the Minimum

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

I have several online writing classes throughout the year and one thing I have noticed: Some student work tirelessly to do the minimum possible. Please don’t do that.

Always try to go “Above and Beyond.” Look, you are in a writing class, for Pete’s sake, so write. Do your research, so that you have something to write about. (Case in point: I once saw a young gal in a computer lab stare at a blank screen for 45 minutes, not writing anything. When I finally made it around to her computer, I asked to see what she had written. She replied, “Nothing. I don’t know what to write about.” I asked to see her research and she asked, “What research?”) Start with research and please note that, if you are asked for a minimum of seven sources, don’t try to get by with only three. I promise: Your teacher will notice.

Now, “Above and Beyond” does not mean that, if you are asked to write an 8-10-page paper, you write 27 pages. That’s happened in my 15 years of teaching college and your professor, who may have 180 students per semester, does not want to see three times what he or she asked for. He or she would like eight to ten pages (For the record, seven pages and three lines is not an eight-page paper. It is a seven-page paper that is trying to cheat the system.)

Another case in point: I was teaching folks how to write an employment package and one gal had an eleven-page résumé (Yes, you need both accent marks or you have written a word that is not the one you wanted). She was supposed to write a two-page résumé. She had only had one job in her life. That is not enough for eleven pages, though she managed to include such tasks as picking up a paper clip if one had fallen to the floor. No, I’m not kidding.

What it does mean is that you need to give substantive answers to any discussion prompts. Don’t skimp on words, but don’t go overboard, either. I once saw a writing student who wrote three paragraphs where a five-sentence answer was required, but the sentences all said the same thing. Repeatedly. Use some common sense, please!

I hope this helps guide you towards a better grade, then next time you study writing. Or anything else, for that matter.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Tell Me About Yourself and Other Plagues

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Giving an online course introductory posting must be the bane of a college student’s existence, giving the desire to avoid them like the plague. Most online courses do require them, you know, so go ahead and write one. Let me tell you about a few different types. You tell me which is the most interesting.

First, there is the non-introduction. Here is an example:

So, how did you like that one? It is also known as the introduction that was never made.

Moving on, we have the “she-asked-for-five-sentences-and-that’s-what-she’s getting-in-this-writing-class introduction.” It looks something like this: My name is Gertrude Hortense. I do not have a nickname. I live in Texas. I am majoring in cyber security. I like to run.”

Well, that was certainly a page-turner!

Next, we have the intro posted by a person we would really like to know better. That intro goes like this:

Hello everyone, and howdy from Texas. My name is Johnny Jump-up. My major is accounting and statistical engineering. I am the father of identical quintuplets. The odds of my wife having identical quints is 1 in 3,906,250,000. The doctors say they are identical but I can tell them apart because 2/5 have brown hair, 2/5 are blondes, and 1/5 is a redhead. But I digress. I love running and can do 10 miles in 139 minutes and 30 seconds, at a 1% grade at 6.1 miles per hour. I burn 1234 calories, and that’s before breakfast. I look forward to working with you all this term!

Now, folks, that’s an introduction! Make your introduction come alive. Don’t lie but make it your goal to have everyone wish they knew you.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Plagiarism is Dead, Or So Some Would Say

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Plagiarism, in my opinion, is alive and well in college classrooms across the world. However, not everyone agrees.

Take, for example, an online college where I have taught for many years. When I first arrived, virtually speaking, I was told that plagiarism would not be accepted in any way, shape, or form. Great! We’re on the same page. Stealing someone else’s work and calling it your own is exactly that: stealing. Students who do this aren’t getting an education in anything except thievery. I am right on this with you, administration. Alleluia!

Then, a couple of years ago, the college told us that we could not longer accuse anyone of plagiarism (apparently, it hurt the students’ feelings when they got caught), so now we were going to rename it “a teachable moment.”

Come again???? Seriously? And, to top it all off, a student was allowed three such moments in a single class. Okay, let me understand you. A student can, without any deduction in points, steal three papers per term and that will be fine. Buddy, there are only four writing assignments in my class. If a student has presented three documents that are not his or hers our of the four assignments, why would I bother to report him or her at that point in the term? Because of due dates, there would only be one day left of class.

So much for their “teachable moments.” I told a survey that I had to take from the school administration that I would no longer report any plagiarism because it wasn’t worth the hoops they made me jump through to document the plagiarism. They stumbled a bit, but I still teach for them. (Please note that, previously, I had won 100% of the cases I brought before the Honor Council. I guess they have disbanded that group!)

The latest is that “teachable moments,” as of a few weeks ago, have now become “text similarities.” I wonder how many the student can have, since it is no longer stealing. And it’s definitely not plagiarism. Apparently. I didn’t bother to ask.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

P.S. I just wanted to add a brief note that I am so grateful to be working full time for a university that still has an honor code and takes plagiarism very seriously. In the time I have been there, I have not found a single student cheating on even one assignment. Students are held to a very high standard and they respect that. That is a relief and leaves me feeling that the future is bright as these young people prepare for positions of leadership in our nation and in the business world.

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize: Hang in There!

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

I had the opportunity recently to talk to one of my students over the phone. She was having some challenges with scheduling her life around online graduate school. Then I found out why.

This gal had plenty of reasons to give up and drop out. But she has some really good reasons to keep on trucking and stick with the program.

Physical aliments would have been one excuse and learning disabilities would have also provided a very convenient way for her to back out. I’ve seen students drop out for fewer excuses than she has. Instead, she chose to talk things over with me. That was a very good decision.

You see, this gal is very bright- one of the top students in the class. She writes very nicely and has made great strides in her writing abilities this term. Quite frankly, it would be a shame if she left the program. I have every confidence in her ability to complete her studies, even though she is just getting started in the program.

Yes, she was having some challenges with fitting school into her schedule but we talked through some ways that she could make things happen. I may have shared with you in the past about my Dollar Store oven timer. It’s hard to think of yourself studying all afternoon, but what about hitting the books for 45 minutes (or whatever works for you?).

Set the timer for 45 minutes and work very, very hard for those 45 minutes. Then take a break. Not a long one, but just enough to fluff your pillow, go to the bathroom if need be, grab a drink of water, and then get back to work. Set the timer for another 45 minutes. Another break and then maybe a final 45 minutes, or maybe just 30 minutes.

I wrote a 400-page dissertation in 12 months because of my 45 minutes at a time approach. I promised myself that I would do 2 hours a day, every day, to move me towards completion of that weighty tome. And I did it consistently for 12 months and got that 400-page book done in record time. [My dissertation, which is called “House, M.D. and Indirect Communication: A Close Textural Analysis,” is available on ProQuest.]

So I will encourage you, just like I did my student: Keep your eyes on the prize and get there, 45 minutes at a time. After all, some day you will be X years old. Do you want to get there with or without that degree? It’s your call. And your 45 minutes.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Why You Can’t Resubmit a Document Until You Get the Grade You Wanted

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

It happens all the time. Students submit a document without paying attention to the instructions or my supplemental announcements and think, somehow, that they can resubmit the document until they get the “A” they wanted.

Nope, it doesn’t happen. Not in this woman’s classes. Let’s take a look at the situation.

You are in a class. You waited until the last minute to do the assignment, which means that you have put yourself under PRESSURE!!! This is a major assignment that can make or break your final grade in the course, but somehow “I work better under pressure.”

No, you don’t. Sorry Charlie, but that is an excuse you give yourself to wait until the 11th hour to do your assignment. At that point in time, you read the directions fast and furiously and then believe that you are going to do your best work. And then you email me and say that my instructions are unclear. No, they aren’t.

Here’s what to do instead: Read the instructions as soon as possible and well in advance of the due date. Read them again. And again, if you need to. Read all of the announcements that the professor has posted about the assignment. Now go back and read the announcements again.

If you have any questions about the assignment, email the professor, but don’t wait until the last minute. Ask for a phone chat, if you still don’t understand. Most of us are willing and ready to talk to you, and are happy to help you get on the right track.

Understand that we want you to succeed and will help you towards your academic goals. What we won’t do is hand you a grade you did not earn.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Keeping Cookies Soft and a Great Fruit Pizza Recipe

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hi folks:

If you have a sweet tooth, we are siblings, for certain. Cookies are a delight when they are soft. When they are hard enough to draw blood, crack a tooth, or require extensive dental work, not so much.

So how do you keep them moist and soft? A piece of bread will do the trick. Here’s how: Put your cookies in a Tupperware-type container and add a piece of bread. Seal the container and there you go. If your cookies have gotten concrete-like, it may take a couple of days to soften them up, but this works like a champ. [Please note that you do not want to reuse the bread. it will become as hard as a rock. When rigor mortis has set in on the bread, replace it with a new slice (if any cookies remain; at my house, the chance of cookie leftovers is slim to none).]

On to the fruit pizza recipe. You need to make a batch of your favorite sugar cookie recipe, rolling out the dough and placing it on a pizza pie pan. If you are in a hurry or don’t have a favorite sugar cookie recipe, you are a more lazy cook than I am- or time efficient. The ready-made cookie dough works just as well, if you can roll it out. Bake as directed. Chop up your favorite fruit, such as strawberries, grapes, kiwi, blueberries (don’t chop the blueberries; leave them whole), and the like. Set them aside.

As the cooked cookie cools (say that three times fast!), heat one bar of Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese in your microwave until it gets soft. When you are able to stir it (usually after 1 1/2 to 2 minutes in the microwave), stir in one box of confectioner’s sugar.

Once those ingredients are totally mixed, spread the mixture onto the cooled cookie (leave the cookie on the pizza pie pan or you will regret it).

While you are decoratively putting your fruit on the fruit pizza, heat up one small jar of apricot jam in the microwave (about one minute). When you have your fruit arranged in a pleasant way (circles work best, here, but be creative), stir the apricot jam and then spread it on top of the fruit pizza. (Note: The apricot jam cuts the feeling of too much sweet in the fruit pizza). Refrigerate your fruit pizza until you are ready to eat it.

Please note that you cannot make this a day ahead or it will become soggy. You must eat it the day it is made, so either eat a lot of it or send it home with friends. It does not keep well overnight. It should be refrigerated, even if you try to beat the odds and eat it over two days. It will be very wet the second day and following, but it is still edible.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Welcome to the World of Run-On Sentences

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

Wow- I had a student lately who wrote sentences that went on for five lines. Or more. Rarely less. Not good.

Sometimes folks have a lot to say, or think they do. Well, I’m happy for them but the train of thought school of writing only really works for Virginia Woolff and, the last I checked, she was dead.

Before you submit a document for grading, please read it out loud. If you have to come up for breath as you read, you need some punctuation there. Frequently, the needed punctuation will be a period.

Please do not use a sentence as the opportunity to rant on and on, switch topics several times, or go off on a tangent. Stick to the topic at hand. Cover it fully but not so completely that it takes forever to read it. He or she who writes the longest sentence does not win. (The student of whom I spoke would have written this paragraph as one sentence, for example.)

A particularly challenging sentence is one that is extremely long and requires a dictionary to understand. Don’t try to impress me with your lofty vocabulary. I will mark on my grading sheet that you are verbose, or that you have diarrhea of the mouth (or, in this case, the typewriter). It becomes even more of a challenge if your writing proves that you don’t know what those high and mighty words mean. (That happens more often than you think.)

So, folks, keep it reasonable in length, don’t use big words, and just tell me what you want to tell me.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Ten Typical Writing Mistakes Students Make

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

As I write this, I will be limiting myself to the ten most common writing mistakes and then I will show you what they should look like.

  1. The most popular mistake these days seems to be the difference between a possessive noun and a plural one. A noun that possesses something needs a possessive apostrophe. For example, “Cat’s meow” needs that possessive apostrophe, versus “The cats meow all hours of the day and night.” In the first example, you have one cat who possesses a meow (if you have more than one cat, it would read “cats’ meows”). In the second example, you have multiple cats who are using the verb “meow” to really annoy you and keep you awake at night.
  2. The next mistake is using a possessive apostrophe with the word “it.” This word does not need an apostrophe in its possessive form. If you write “it’s,” then you have written “it is.” An example of this is “in its best interest” versus “it’s (it is) in the best interest of the students.” If you add the apostrophe with the first sentence, then you have written “in it is best interest,” which is not what you mean at all.
  3. A very popular boo-boo is not using commas with introductory phrases. It adds clarity, if you have a comma. For example, this sentence has an introductory phrase with a comma. Some students simply choose to never use any punctuation at any time. Augh!!!!! They feel that they can get away with the occasional period, if that.
  4. The next is a related mistake: The use of commas between the subject and the verb and wherever else the student would like to plop them. An example, is because, whenever the student thinks, one would look good then, he or she, puts one into the sentence. Double aughh!!!!!
  5. An all-time favorite is using semi-colons where commas belong. These periodically show up after an introductory phrase or in a list of things. For example; a student would use them after a person; place; thing; or idea. (Please note that none of these semi-colons is correct; semi-colons connect two independent phrases (phrases that could stand alone as a sentence on their own but which you have chosen to connect.)
  6. Students also love to stick the year of publication in a paragraph multiple times. The rule of thumb is as follows: only use the year of publication ONCE in a paragraph, unless you have multiple articles by the same authors that are mentioned in the same paragraph and were written in different years. If the author has a particularly good year with numerous articles, then you would write 2020a, 2020b, and the like, after the author’s name.
  7. Students like to shortchange the second author. For example, one of my textbooks was written by Beebe and Masterson. Students love to cite Beebe but not Masterson. Cite both! Do not write et al. if there are only two authors.
  8. The use of et al. seems to be very confusing. (Note that I have removed the quotation marks around these words, to avoid confusion.) It is not eat all, et. al, or etal. These terms are used to indicate that there are multiple authors; I will use the citation properly at the end of this sentence (Smith et al., 2020, p. 123). Please note the punctuation herein.
  9. Do not write huge sentences. Some students just go on and on and, the next thing you know, they have a sentence that is five lines long. If you have to come up for air as you read a sentence, it is way too long. He or she who writes the longest sentence does not win. You simply wear out your reader.
  10. Students do not use Oxford commas. I love my parents, Daisy Duck and Donald Duck. I did not use an Oxford commas there, so it appears that my parents are Daisy and Donald (they aren’t). Using a comma after the second-to-the-last item in a list of things adds clarity. I love my parents, Daisy Duck, and Donald Duck. Now it is obvious that I love three separate individuals.
  11. Best, Dr. Sheri

It’s the Little Things That Count

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

You know, it’s the little things in life that matter. Take, for example, a recent visit I made to my local food store.

They want you to buy their food, right? I was walking into the store on a Saturday morning, having noticed that one of their workers was scrubbing the sidewalk outside the front door (which also serves as an exit, since they closed the other entrance due to the corona virus). [Wouldn’t it be better for social distancing if they made one door an entrance and the other an exit? But I digress.]

So this young man had a bucket of soapy water and he was really going to town on that sidewalk. There weren’t going to be any germs there, once he was finished. Soapy water was going to be carried in on the feet of the shoppers, however. He was trying to clean things up, obviously.

So I waded in past him to do my shopping, as did everyone else who was entering. Others had the opportunity to track the soapy mess across the parking lot and into their cars. Oh joy.

Once in the store, I walked around, picking up one item after the other and placing them into my cart, when I got to the frozen food section of the store. I received a text and, as I looked down to answer it, I noticed that the frozen food counters had about three inches of absolute filth underneath them. Dust bunnies were everywhere! It seems that the store cleaners only clean what they expect you to see and leave the rest of the store a mess. What Disney World would call the “backstage area” was absolutely horrid.

The takeaway on this is that you should do more than expected in college and in life. Under promise and over deliver, rather than the other way around. Don’t worry so much about the sidewalks outside when the interior (where the food is, I might note) is what is really important. Do your work, do it well, and don’t let the dust bunnies take up residence in your work.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Pay Attention to the Little Things when You’re Writing Because I Do

Posted on by Sheri Dean Parmelee

Hello everyone:

When students take a college class from me, they get two things for the price of one. They are in a communication class but I also teach them how to write, if they will only pay attention. I have students whose writing I correct over and over, only to have them ignore my suggestions. Of course, the thing to remember here is that my suggestions are more of a command than a “this might be nice” type of feedback.

Case in point: I find myself flummoxed by graduate students who persist in putting commas between the subject and the verb of a sentence.
Who in the world taught them that? The reason, is ….that’s one of their all-time favorite expressions when writing. AUGH!!!!! I, am not happy……Be still my soul! Do these folks know the King’s English??? (Or, in this day and age, the Queen’s?)

And don’t get me started on commas being used instead of semi-colons, or vice versa. Here’s the skinny on the difference: Semi-colons connect two independent phrases; that is, they connect two completely fine sentences that could stand alone. Commas do not.

Forgive me for ranting, but I just spent the whole day correcting graduate level papers that were anything but that. When we are in week five of an eight week course and students still don’t get the smallest inkling of how to write well, it gets quite frustrating.

Proofread everything. I do. I read my entire 400-page dissertation out loud, trying to catch flaws. Sadly, my professional proofreader added some mistakes into the document before she signed off and those 12 errors that are now in my book drive me batty. Some of my students had several typos in today’s work, which tells me that they ignored the feedback their computer was giving them. Too bad, because I noticed the flaws and marked them down…..Just sayin’

Best,

Dr. Sheri